In Which Queenie has Body Issues

[bloodsong1]

So I've been on the Depo for about three years now. I haven't had any complaints about how it works. I luv, luv, luv a birth control method that's once a quarter instead of pills every day and OMFG!Trouble! if you miss one. I haven't suffered any of the mood changes other friends of mine have suffered, and Goddess knows I needed the help in the weight department, considering how dangerously underweight I've been most of my life.

Now, though. Now I'm understanding what women complain about when they look in the mirror naked. I used to have a flat tummy. It counterbalanced the lack of boobs nicely. This week, while getting ready for a shower, I took a look in the mirror and sighed. Throwing my shoulders back does not make the boobs look any bigger. Ok, fine, I get that. I'll have to have surgery to get my ideal boobage of a healthy A cup.

But this tummy!! The last time I had a tummy it was over three years ago and I was pregnant. I look pregnant now! I've confirmed I'm not, I started bleeding today, which also goes a long way to explaining this sudden body fixation. I'm very self-critical and short tempered when I'm PMSing. But still!!

I told Wolf about this silliness last night and he reminded me that crunches are the way to go. Ugh. Carving out time to exercise? Well, it is the only way. One doesn't get washboard abs without exercising.

*grumble*

I honestly feel I get plenty of exercise at work, what with all the walking and heavy lifting I do on a daily and weekly basis. But it's not targeted exercise, which is what this tummy (ARGH!) needs.

I guess I'll hunt around online for modified crunches I can do at my desk, because I know I won't have the discipline to exercise after work or on the weekends. I've been falling asleep on the couch by 9:30 EVERY night this week. I blame the extra hours I've been putting in at the shop. The month of May was the month of Overtime, not one week went by where I wasn't staying late at least once and racking up 4-5 hours of OT.

I've also heard that after two kids, it can be near-impossible to lose the "baby bump", because it's not the abdominal muscles that are the issue, it's the smooth muscle tissue of the uterus that's been built up. But if I can't afford cosmetic surgery to have a nice rack, I certainly can't afford a tummy tuck.