I'm so sorry! Maybe we need to do a different kind of water ritiual for you....that would allow you to open yourself to the healing, joyful and enjoyable aspects, and let your fears float away. I have a chant-song I wrote to help me with my various fears, and would love to teach it to you sometime. The words are-
Hold me in your hands
I am safe within your grasp
Fold me in the bosom
Of your entirety.
And without fear I will cross your waters
And without fear, I will stand upon your Earth
And without fear, I will sail upon your winds
And without fear, I will wrap myself in the heat of your fiery Sun.
(repeast 1st stanza as needed)
Who knows? Like chicken soup, it Kent Hoight!