bloodsong1 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bloodsong1) wrote2013-10-14 09:19 pm
bloodsong1) wrote2013-10-14 09:19 pm
Home again
Weekend at my "family reunion" was lovely. Painful. Liberating. Humbling. Soothing. Exciting.
I will summarize.
Driving narrow, two lane, twisty roads over the hills and through the woods in the dark generates a special kind of adrenaline rush when one has been reading Lovecraft for the last two weeks.
My family loves me. They give me presents that are exactly what I need to process the anger and soothe Indigo.
FOOD!!!
Reiki energy work is intense, even when letting someone you cannot stand be the conduit.
FOOD!!!
I did a lot of fire-tending. At the Circle and in the sauna.
Animal dances!
FOOD!!!
The Greeks put on a great ritual.
Reiki energy work is even more intense when you let it circulate through you and accept the distance healing. I frightened one of the students when I gasped in pain. Then I cried. A lot. Then I fell over.
FOOD!!!
I tended the juice bar at the dance. I also walked the catwalk and lost the "Best Costume" to the Earth Spirit and her shovel dancing skills. Make of that what you will.
Vindication is its own peculiar joy.
FOOD!!!
I now have the Official Route and it's pretty, simple and takes about as much time as the other three routes I've taken.
Now for the details:
I learned my Mystery Stone is Unakite! Like the others, it's good for drawing out negative energy and helping one see beauty.
Two women said powerful things to me. Our resident MD thanked me for being alive. She is the only one who has done that. Everyone else would either ask me not to or say "I'm glad..." More often then not it was the "Oh please don't." That sounds to me like I have the burden of being their strength. I can't die because you don't want me to? Since when does what YOU want have any bearing on my decision? Think of my children? I AM thinking of them! I found them an excellent guardian!
The Sweat Lodge Diva, who, it turns out, lives in my neck of the woods!, asked me what I was worth. That shut me up. Worth? Do I have any worth? I needed to think about that and eventually admitted there were days when I felt I was completely without worth, having no value. She suggested I find my worth. Not to the kiddos, not to SLB or my friends or my family. Find MY worth. Find MY value in this life.
I admit, that seems a novel concept and one I can work with much more...intimately, then finding ways to pre-purge or developing "coping mechanisms". I will mention it to my counselor tomorrow.
Brother Nightfall suggested martial arts. Sweat Lodge Diva suggested an Anger Ritual. Both of these are good ideas.
T-ryn was my bestest best friend the entire weekend. She gave me a wonderful bracelet that reads "Hold On. Pain Ends." H-O-P-E. Get it? I put it on my right wrist Friday night and it's not coming off until I reach true Acceptance. She also gave me a hematite bracelet and a lapis lazuli bracelet. Those are on my left wrist. She also kept me company, took Cuteness on a canoe ride and watched me after both Reiki sessions to make sure I was safe. We rock purple spiderweb witch hats.
I'm still feeling the effects of the Reiki treatments. I was told after the first session I'm fairly healthy physically and it was the mental and emotional distresses and illness that were working against me. I was told after the second session energy was pouring out of me and the Master set up protections to allow only safe, healing energy to fill the empty spaces.
My throat is a little sore and my chest still aches from the 13 lb black dream cat that smashed into my sternum Sunday night. Gods, that HURT! I've never had a dream hurt like that, let alone wake up to the exact same feeling! It's gone from an acute ache to a dull, like a bruise. My skin's not marked, I suspect it's a chakra thing. I've opened myself up to healing and according to T-ryn, who belongs to Bastet, black is the color of rebirth. That's important. In Egyptian mythology, black is NOT the color of death. It is the color of rebirth. T-ryn also admitted I had scared her so much when I yelped during the second session she sent out an SOS. So, there ya go.
Work will be receiving a very edited version of the weekend. I need to go to bed.
I will summarize.
Driving narrow, two lane, twisty roads over the hills and through the woods in the dark generates a special kind of adrenaline rush when one has been reading Lovecraft for the last two weeks.
My family loves me. They give me presents that are exactly what I need to process the anger and soothe Indigo.
FOOD!!!
Reiki energy work is intense, even when letting someone you cannot stand be the conduit.
FOOD!!!
I did a lot of fire-tending. At the Circle and in the sauna.
Animal dances!
FOOD!!!
The Greeks put on a great ritual.
Reiki energy work is even more intense when you let it circulate through you and accept the distance healing. I frightened one of the students when I gasped in pain. Then I cried. A lot. Then I fell over.
FOOD!!!
I tended the juice bar at the dance. I also walked the catwalk and lost the "Best Costume" to the Earth Spirit and her shovel dancing skills. Make of that what you will.
Vindication is its own peculiar joy.
FOOD!!!
I now have the Official Route and it's pretty, simple and takes about as much time as the other three routes I've taken.
Now for the details:
I learned my Mystery Stone is Unakite! Like the others, it's good for drawing out negative energy and helping one see beauty.
Two women said powerful things to me. Our resident MD thanked me for being alive. She is the only one who has done that. Everyone else would either ask me not to or say "I'm glad..." More often then not it was the "Oh please don't." That sounds to me like I have the burden of being their strength. I can't die because you don't want me to? Since when does what YOU want have any bearing on my decision? Think of my children? I AM thinking of them! I found them an excellent guardian!
The Sweat Lodge Diva, who, it turns out, lives in my neck of the woods!, asked me what I was worth. That shut me up. Worth? Do I have any worth? I needed to think about that and eventually admitted there were days when I felt I was completely without worth, having no value. She suggested I find my worth. Not to the kiddos, not to SLB or my friends or my family. Find MY worth. Find MY value in this life.
I admit, that seems a novel concept and one I can work with much more...intimately, then finding ways to pre-purge or developing "coping mechanisms". I will mention it to my counselor tomorrow.
Brother Nightfall suggested martial arts. Sweat Lodge Diva suggested an Anger Ritual. Both of these are good ideas.
T-ryn was my bestest best friend the entire weekend. She gave me a wonderful bracelet that reads "Hold On. Pain Ends." H-O-P-E. Get it? I put it on my right wrist Friday night and it's not coming off until I reach true Acceptance. She also gave me a hematite bracelet and a lapis lazuli bracelet. Those are on my left wrist. She also kept me company, took Cuteness on a canoe ride and watched me after both Reiki sessions to make sure I was safe. We rock purple spiderweb witch hats.
I'm still feeling the effects of the Reiki treatments. I was told after the first session I'm fairly healthy physically and it was the mental and emotional distresses and illness that were working against me. I was told after the second session energy was pouring out of me and the Master set up protections to allow only safe, healing energy to fill the empty spaces.
My throat is a little sore and my chest still aches from the 13 lb black dream cat that smashed into my sternum Sunday night. Gods, that HURT! I've never had a dream hurt like that, let alone wake up to the exact same feeling! It's gone from an acute ache to a dull, like a bruise. My skin's not marked, I suspect it's a chakra thing. I've opened myself up to healing and according to T-ryn, who belongs to Bastet, black is the color of rebirth. That's important. In Egyptian mythology, black is NOT the color of death. It is the color of rebirth. T-ryn also admitted I had scared her so much when I yelped during the second session she sent out an SOS. So, there ya go.
Work will be receiving a very edited version of the weekend. I need to go to bed.