She finally succumbed.

It was a good day. I helped out at Dermatology, so I was checking in and answering phones and helping the other MOA prep for tomorrow. We did get lunch, which was nice. Then I drove home in the sunshine and sub-freezing temps and counted my blessings, of which there are many, and was grateful and Sad and overwhelmed and Sad and happy and Sad and you see the pattern.

Feeling Sad about Good Things is going to take a while to break.

When I got home there was a pot of purple flowers to match the yellow flowers I got for Ritual, a small cake and a cute purple Disney card from my kiddos. I declared dinner to be "whatever's in the fridge", got into my snuggly jammies and soon I will be kicking IDK off the television so I can watch and crochet. Or play Harvest Moon. It depends. I haven't decided. I may also snuggle up with Sheshenaga.

After Cuteness is tucked into bed, I'm taking a bath with Jasmine bath salts from Japan and listening to classical music.

Simple? Yes. Suitable? Absolutely. My present continues to sparkle on my finger and impress everyone I show it to.

I was up by 8:30 Sunday morning with a head cold. Cuteness' Magical Tea Party was scheduled for 2-4 pm. I had a lot of work to do, so I did it with lots of hand washing. I made "Jewel Cookies", which were thumbprint cookies without the nutty crust and blackberry preserves, cinnamon scones, watercress & neufchatel sandwiches, cucumber sandwiches and three "normal" sandwiches; cheese, salami & bologna. The cake, which was GORGEOUS, Baked by Camille does such wonderful work, was already done. I planned chamomile tea for the girls and gave the adults options.

Out of the two friends Cuteness invited, only one came. But she came equipped with a tiara, a magic wand and stuffed companion. I did not need to buy the wands and tiaras and flower headbands, but I'm still glad I did. The adults wore the tiaras, except me, who went with the flowers. Zahde & RBD came, along with Little Bear, and Loooooo also showed up. Cuteness' friend is very shy. She stayed close to her mother except when they were up in Cuteness' room playing. Both girls refused tea and drank plain water out of fancy cups. They were very careful and did not break anything! Cuteness chose the cups for her guests.

The head cold and the shy girl helped me not focus on resentment for yet again giving up "my" day for my daughter. I know what I'm getting for my birthday and it will come in a month or two. I am patient. I can wait.

Cuteness got some neat presents. Zahde gave her transforming dinosaur eggs that turned into a stegosaurus and a triceratops. RBD & Little Bear gave her a new Play-Doh kit, a pack of Play-Doh and a new coloring book. Shy gave her a Barbie doll and a blue stuffed sheep. I think it's a sheep. It has a sheep face, but the body is weird, kind of skinny, like those music animals with the string you pull for infants, only without the string. It's very soft.

I was surprised with two coloring books from RBD.

Overall a good time was had by all. Shy and her mom left first, then RBD, Zahde and I sat on the couch and visited. Those conversations were okay, but sensitive subjects came up. Zahde stayed for the dinner SLB had put together before he fled to cards. I finally shooed her out the door so she wouldn't have to drive in the dark. I knew she was tired from sitting with her father for the last week and while I would have been happy to put her up, I knew she needed her own bed. Sometimes it's hard to let her go back to Ithaca. She needs a lot of help, but her presence is comforting and soothing. I needed her a lot after Wolf died and she stepped up without a complaint. I really appreciate that. I've been working very hard to make sure she doesn't feel unwanted or unwelcome since SLB came into my life. I wanted to prove I was a "True Friend" who wouldn't abandon her. Lovers may come and go, but True Friends are like a marriage. It's until Death do us part. Well, that's how I feel.

My cold has mutated into a sinus infection. I've been using my neti pot twice a day, drinking lots of herbal tea with echinacea in it and going to bed early. I couldn't nap at work, but I did nap today. I might nap tomorrow if schedules allow for it. Still going to bed early.

I have come to the conclusion SLB needs to grow up some more. I love his passion when it's not directed as part of an argument towards me. He also has the strangest temper. None of these things are deal-breakers, but they are an incentive to NOT get married. When he can stop sweating the small stuff; like Internet going out or getting bad teammates in an online game or being cold, I'll rethink the getting married. For now, I'm good with the status quo.

I suppose I'll have to tell him that eventually.

I want to go ( HERE ) for my birthday next year. I will happily take the bus and stay overnight and then come back.

Who's with me?

...

COME ON! It's NINJAS! You know you want to.

It's a great time. You're moving into that stage of life where careers and families really start to shine. It's the new 20, dontcha know. Get out there and have fun!

Don't worry about the 'no miniskirts after 35' fashion rule, you've still got five years! Show off those stems!

Don't worry about your metabolism slowing down, you need it! Girl, at this stage, any pound gained and kept is a GOOD THING. And kudos to you for getting those depo shots. *nodnodnod* If you gain 10-15 pounds, you'll finally be at a healthy weight and not be pregnant! Isn't that wonderful?

Don't worry about Wolf making noises about another kiddo. You CAN have healthy babies in your thirties. You know you can't carry to term, so you'll have the best possible care as a very high risk pregnancy. And besides, you already have built-in daycare! Well, for as long as Mama A is able to. Hmmm. Maybe not.

Don't worry about your complete lack of advancement opportunities in your current job. Just get that house bought and then look into schooling for medical transcription or something along those lines. Work from home! Never mind you have a Mac, and the software probably won't be supported. You can invest in a PC laptop. Mobile working from home!

No, really! This will be YOUR decade. You have two beautiful children, a fantabulous husband that still thinks you're a sex kitten, and some very good friends only an hour + away. You didn't like having an event every weekend, remember? Enjoy yourself. Just remember, come October, you need to set up that 401k. You're not getting any younger, after all.