Actual Conversation

Me: *seeing Teenager skip a hesitant near-love confession scene* Don't like the mushy stuff?

Teenager: Meh, it gets boring after the first one.

Me: Wait until you get twitter pated. Hey, have you even been twitter pated yet?

Teenager: I don't like Twitter.

Me: *doubles over laughing* *Teenager threatens to bombard me with popcorn*

I explained what twitter pated meant. He informs me it has not happened yet.

This pays him back for poking me in the cheek with a potato chip. We do not have the relationship my mother and I have.