bloodsong1 | Oh, data monkey job,

Why must you make my knees hurt so much? You're supposed to come with ergonomic, adjust-a-dozen-ways-from-Sunday chairs and no matter what I do, by 2 pm my knees are killing me. Maybe it's the weather. Last week was three days in a row and I didn't hurt like I have since yesterday.

*siiiiiiiiiiiiggggghhhhhh*

The other issue with Data Monkey job is that it's repetitive and boring. You do have to pay a certain amount of attention, but not enough to keep my mind from wandering around, humming ear-worm songs and pondering Life, Relationships and What Do I Want?

Simple Abundance is adamant about being grateful. Be thankful and you will soon cultivate acceptance which flowers joy or something like that. Bless and be grateful about everything in your life and Inspiration (no relation) will come and inspire you.

Imbolc in two days. That is all about Inspiration, which begets introspection which begets, for me at least, breaking down in tears. There hasn't been an Imbolc in the last 6 years I haven't cried at. Naturally the last two years have been the worst.

SNB is able to go, so I've been tel...okay, warning him about what to expect. My friends are outside his realm of experience, so I want him to be prepared. The flirting may be an issue. He's Italian and admitted to being a jealous sort. I can understand that, I'm a jealous sort too, which is why all my male friends are "safe". They're poly or leaning towards it, and since that's my hard line, we can flirt and joke and tease and be comfortable with just that.

It took me a while to convince him nekkid hot tubbing is okay because just about everyone there has already seen me nekkid, so, no big deal. We'll see.

Okay, time to address the Spangly Elephant.

He wants to marry me, LJ-Land.

More later.

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About the flirting, we can ask Giovanni to take it easy on him...

See you in 2 days.

Oh, my.

That *is* a big elephant, isn't it? How long ago did *that beast show up?

I will advise Craig to be low-key. As opposed to Loki. Heh heh heh.
So, spangly-elephant-in-the-room-wise, anything worth having is worth waiting for. If he's not willing to wait for you to be ready, then there is a problem. You need to be (reasonably) sure that this is the right move for you. Caveat - no one is really sure. If you think you're sure, you could still be horribly wrong. The important point is that even if you are horribly, horribly, HORRIBLY wrong, you are still compos mentis enough to stagger away under your own power and recover. Never never NEVER give away your autonomy. Even if you fall head over heels, keep your feet on the ground. Does that sound cynical? Probably. But you can still be incredibly in love without being unwise.
I will have to scan him with my laser vision.

I think all of us are looking forward to meeting him. He's a gamer and most of us are gamers. I'm also hoping that this does not feel like a 48 hour job interview from hell for him.

I agree with much of what T. said about autonomy. She and I are coming from different perspectives probably across gender lines.

The Spangly Elephant...One of my friends asked a few of her friends "What do you do with a premature 'I love you.'" This was interesting reading, since the person in question had been married before.

I think it's sweet. I also think he does not know you that well yet. This could be "OMG she's nifty, and cute, and gets me, and I did not think I would find a woman like this..." I think you mentioned he does not have a lot of relationship experience.

He's also living in a geeky person desert also. I'm hoping that and some insecurity is what is leading to the jealousy. In my case it was "Why would she want to be with me? Therefore I need to be on guard against these other guys." Pretty standard failure mode, been there done that, lost the GF over it.

My gut feeling about some of the things he has done and said that you have written about make me think he's got some self-esteem issues. I could/have done some of them back in the day.

The other side of this is not as innocent. This is something I am very careful about personally. You have resources, and you are a kind giving person. You could be a good target for someone manipulative.

One of the conversations I have had with a couple friends of mine is that people sometimes give "Too much, too early." They want people to like them. So something to consider there also.

"Life, Relationships and What Do I Want?" I keep hearing your plans, but what does he want in 5-10 years?

The manipulative issue is a valid one. My ex husband, and my mother for that matter, are/were very manipulative. I've learned that lesson, which is why I was bracing for a storm when he blew up over Ripley's service work. He apologized twice and so far has not shown any signs of holding it against me.

I will continue to watch and listen to my gut.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! That's exciting! I know you are responsible and taking things at a good pace, so I'm not worried about that.

I'm not even worried that *I* haven't seen you naked. :P

Well, you can't make the nekkid hot tubbing, so...

...and at the risk of sounding HORRIBLY old-fashioned, could I remind you of an ancient American tribal tradition known as the "Long Engagement" or even just "Being Engaged"? It really seems to be a forgotten idea anymore that two people have made a decision that they believe that a life-long commitment is wanted, and then spend the next year, or two, or three, learning a LOT more about how they are going to negotiate the falls and rapids of life as two. "Being Engaged" gives you a different status; you are promised, and considered to be exclusive, so people tend to treat you as a permanent couple: often nowadays the fiance`'s already are sharing home-space and finances and so forth: yet that final, and to my mind irrevocable jump has not been made. Speaking as a long-term married who considers homicide an often less painful option than divorce, it just seems like a great chance to see how you really interact as a team. So- yeah, he wants to marry you, fantastic, congratulations,I'm not surprised, why WOULDN'T anyone?, and join your family- so yea, if you are cool with that, maybe in a couple years? If it works, it's a pretty seamless transition into legalhood, and if it doesn't, no harm, no foul, geez that's too bad.
GOSH, I am so STINKIN' psyched, that he wants to marry you! Smart guy! Woo-HOO! Now back to how YOU feel..... :)

Oh, data monkey job,

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WOW! That's some elephant.....