Swiped from Janny...
Jun. 19th, 2005 03:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bloodsong111 years ago, I was 16. Heartbreakingly innocent, a hopeless romantic and convinced college was my time to shine. If the 27 year old me could talk to the 16 year old me, what would we say?
16: "I STILL don't have breasts?"
27: *shrug* "But you do get over the need to hide behind shaped bras. There's a reason I'm still a AA. We have an eating disorder."
16: "Wh...what? I'm not anorexic or bulimic!"
27: "No. You don't eat when you're upset with someone, or something. Stress kills your appetite. You lose weight very quickly and it takes a lot of work to gain it back. I'm currently fighting to gain back 10 pounds." *takes 16's hands* "You need to forget what Mom said about hypoglycemia. You are never professionally diagonsed with it. The low blood pressure, oh yeah. But if you gain weight, your blood pressure will become normal."
16: *sarcastic* "So how? Carry crackers around?"
27: "No. After all, we don't like them, so why waste the money? Keep gummy candy with you, feel free to snack whenever you feel like it and here's the big one. At mealtime, try increasing your servings, just enough to be noticable. Then, while you're eating, distract yourself. Don't think about cleaning your plate, because then you're focusing on the food, which sets off your negative attitude. Write stories in your head. You'll get some good stuff out of it."
16: "Ok, that makes sense. What about school? PLEASE tell me I went to college."
27: "Eh heh." Can't tell her "When you meet D, run. That'll screw up the timeline and frankly, the kiddo is needed for that final shove into adulthood. Not to mention Wolf. So..." "Yes, we go. It takes longer then expected, but we get our degree. First college graduate in the immediate family."
16: "Oh, good. Do we shine? Is it what we expected?"
27: "You should know by now nothing goes as we expect. It also depends on how you define 'shine'. There's some good times, some really rough times, some perfectly awful times, but then everything works out."
16: "No way to avoid the bad times?"
27: "You've seen 'Tapestry', that TNG episode with Picard and Q."
16: "I see." *looks at rings* "But we get married."
27: "Yes."
16: "What's he like?"
27: *rebuking look*
16: "Oh, come on! Can't you give me a clue? Just a little hint?"
27: "You'll find him where you least expect to." Truth. We certainly weren't LOOKING for Wolf when we found him. Heeheeheeheehee.
16: "Ok. *thinks* "It's not Jon, is it?"
27: *bursts out laughing* "No, it's not."
16: "Ok. Um, let's see. I know you don't have any questions for me."
27: "No, but there is something I want to show you."
16: "Oh?"
27: *pulls out pentacle.* *16 stares at it.*
16: "What IS that?"
27: "It's a pentacle."
16: "A what?"
27: "A pentacle. A symbol of your faith."
*16 sputters and taps the genie lamp at her throat. 27 shakes her head.*
27: "No. You still believe in magic and faires and witches. *points to Aladdin posters* "Magic is real, sweets. You're not Catholic. Not really. It might take a few years for you to realize this, but you won't be happy and satisfied going to Mass. You know how much you hate Good Friday?"
16: "Yes."
27: "That's because you're too in tune with it. It's a sacrificial rite that wasn't treated then with the respect it deserved. You're more comfortable honoring it in your dark bedroom with tears then standing in a church waiting to touch a symbol of pain."
16: "I don't understand."
27: "You will. Don't be afraid to stand up to Mom and Dad and say 'I don't want to go to Good Friday services.' It's not a sin. You have an affinity for the dead. They will visit you on occasion or call to you. Don't be afraid when it happens. Just acknowledge them. And if you've got the courage, try looking up a few books on Wicca. But don't bring them home, Mom'll have a fit."
16: "Wicca?"
27: "That's the official name for our faith. You'll find your own system in time. Trust me, it'll help when things get rough."
16: "Mom's going to flip."
27: "Of course she is! She got upset with Aunt R for becoming Fundamentalist."
16: "Heh. True. Ok. What about the scripts?"
27: "They don't go anywhere. You will continue to write and find a better outlet for your creativity. A couple different ones, actually."
16: "Wait a minute. Those writing assignments, where I used flashbacks and stuff..."
27: "Evidence of your Wiccan-ness peeking out."
16: "I will watch R-rated movies, right?"
27: "Oh yes. You'll find a fascinating medium called 'anime'. Japanese animation, wonderful stuff. There's all kinds and it's fun. Check out 'Heroes and Dragons' in the mall if you manage to get there by yourself sometime."
16: "Right. Are we...happy?"
27: "Now? Yes. But it takes a lot of hard work and a LOT of pain to get where we are. It's an ongoing struggle, you know. The world will seem like it's going to hell in a handbasket, but you'll survive it and be stronger."
16: "Oh yeah. One more thing. Do we get over our fear of driving?"
27: "Not really. It'll take some serious pushing to get us behind the wheel. But we have to decide we want to do it."
16: "Right. Guess I seem really childish to you."
27: "No. Innocent. It hurts to look at you."
16: "Hurts?"
27: "Yeah. But I keep reminding myself, change something now and I could undo everything I've gained."
16: "And we've gained happiness."
27: "Happiness and love. Lots of love."
16: "That's worth fighting for."
27: "You remember that."
16: "I STILL don't have breasts?"
27: *shrug* "But you do get over the need to hide behind shaped bras. There's a reason I'm still a AA. We have an eating disorder."
16: "Wh...what? I'm not anorexic or bulimic!"
27: "No. You don't eat when you're upset with someone, or something. Stress kills your appetite. You lose weight very quickly and it takes a lot of work to gain it back. I'm currently fighting to gain back 10 pounds." *takes 16's hands* "You need to forget what Mom said about hypoglycemia. You are never professionally diagonsed with it. The low blood pressure, oh yeah. But if you gain weight, your blood pressure will become normal."
16: *sarcastic* "So how? Carry crackers around?"
27: "No. After all, we don't like them, so why waste the money? Keep gummy candy with you, feel free to snack whenever you feel like it and here's the big one. At mealtime, try increasing your servings, just enough to be noticable. Then, while you're eating, distract yourself. Don't think about cleaning your plate, because then you're focusing on the food, which sets off your negative attitude. Write stories in your head. You'll get some good stuff out of it."
16: "Ok, that makes sense. What about school? PLEASE tell me I went to college."
27: "Eh heh." Can't tell her "When you meet D, run. That'll screw up the timeline and frankly, the kiddo is needed for that final shove into adulthood. Not to mention Wolf. So..." "Yes, we go. It takes longer then expected, but we get our degree. First college graduate in the immediate family."
16: "Oh, good. Do we shine? Is it what we expected?"
27: "You should know by now nothing goes as we expect. It also depends on how you define 'shine'. There's some good times, some really rough times, some perfectly awful times, but then everything works out."
16: "No way to avoid the bad times?"
27: "You've seen 'Tapestry', that TNG episode with Picard and Q."
16: "I see." *looks at rings* "But we get married."
27: "Yes."
16: "What's he like?"
27: *rebuking look*
16: "Oh, come on! Can't you give me a clue? Just a little hint?"
27: "You'll find him where you least expect to." Truth. We certainly weren't LOOKING for Wolf when we found him. Heeheeheeheehee.
16: "Ok. *thinks* "It's not Jon, is it?"
27: *bursts out laughing* "No, it's not."
16: "Ok. Um, let's see. I know you don't have any questions for me."
27: "No, but there is something I want to show you."
16: "Oh?"
27: *pulls out pentacle.* *16 stares at it.*
16: "What IS that?"
27: "It's a pentacle."
16: "A what?"
27: "A pentacle. A symbol of your faith."
*16 sputters and taps the genie lamp at her throat. 27 shakes her head.*
27: "No. You still believe in magic and faires and witches. *points to Aladdin posters* "Magic is real, sweets. You're not Catholic. Not really. It might take a few years for you to realize this, but you won't be happy and satisfied going to Mass. You know how much you hate Good Friday?"
16: "Yes."
27: "That's because you're too in tune with it. It's a sacrificial rite that wasn't treated then with the respect it deserved. You're more comfortable honoring it in your dark bedroom with tears then standing in a church waiting to touch a symbol of pain."
16: "I don't understand."
27: "You will. Don't be afraid to stand up to Mom and Dad and say 'I don't want to go to Good Friday services.' It's not a sin. You have an affinity for the dead. They will visit you on occasion or call to you. Don't be afraid when it happens. Just acknowledge them. And if you've got the courage, try looking up a few books on Wicca. But don't bring them home, Mom'll have a fit."
16: "Wicca?"
27: "That's the official name for our faith. You'll find your own system in time. Trust me, it'll help when things get rough."
16: "Mom's going to flip."
27: "Of course she is! She got upset with Aunt R for becoming Fundamentalist."
16: "Heh. True. Ok. What about the scripts?"
27: "They don't go anywhere. You will continue to write and find a better outlet for your creativity. A couple different ones, actually."
16: "Wait a minute. Those writing assignments, where I used flashbacks and stuff..."
27: "Evidence of your Wiccan-ness peeking out."
16: "I will watch R-rated movies, right?"
27: "Oh yes. You'll find a fascinating medium called 'anime'. Japanese animation, wonderful stuff. There's all kinds and it's fun. Check out 'Heroes and Dragons' in the mall if you manage to get there by yourself sometime."
16: "Right. Are we...happy?"
27: "Now? Yes. But it takes a lot of hard work and a LOT of pain to get where we are. It's an ongoing struggle, you know. The world will seem like it's going to hell in a handbasket, but you'll survive it and be stronger."
16: "Oh yeah. One more thing. Do we get over our fear of driving?"
27: "Not really. It'll take some serious pushing to get us behind the wheel. But we have to decide we want to do it."
16: "Right. Guess I seem really childish to you."
27: "No. Innocent. It hurts to look at you."
16: "Hurts?"
27: "Yeah. But I keep reminding myself, change something now and I could undo everything I've gained."
16: "And we've gained happiness."
27: "Happiness and love. Lots of love."
16: "That's worth fighting for."
27: "You remember that."
