She finally succumbed.

IDK went in for ear tubes and adenoid removal today. We were at the hospital at 8:30 am. It really did take an hour and a half to get him and the room prepped. He freaked out over the IV as soon as he saw the needle. *sigh*

The surgery went very well. We were buzzed when he had been moved to recovery, almost, but not quite, exactly how some mid-range restaurants hand you a blinking, buzzing pager when there's a long wait. (Think Olive Garden.) He was shivering pretty bad for about ten minutes, but he was able to eat ice cream and drink ginger ale without any side effects. He was sent home at around 1:30 pm. Mama A took him to the house while I picked up his scripts and a half-gallon of Panda Paws ice cream for his very own. (I got sundae cones for Cuteness and double dark chocolate gelato for me.)

Right now he's sitting on the couch happily eating ice cream and watching the Ninjago marathon on Cartoon Network. I'm doing laundry. Life is good.

Two-three wet, heavy inches when I got up this morning. Drama from IDK over shoveling properly, he now has no gaming privileges on TV or computer for two weeks. Yes, I'm a Tough Mommy with no patience for whining, mouthing off or throwing down the shovel so he can run away to his friend's house. I actually followed him in the car to said friend's house and announced that if he didn't get his hiney in the car I was calling the police and reporting him as a runaway.

No, I wasn't kidding. If I had had my cell phone with me, I would have. But I had left it at work last night, so I HAD to go to work. In the snow and the slush and the NONSENSE.

Fortunately, the power went out at noon at the shop. We sat in the dark for about two hours waiting for The Boss to bring back lunch, then I had to stick around another 10-15 minutes for a customer to show up, and THEN I left.

Got home without any problems, took three tries to get into the driveway, (another bloody three inches, they're calling for 6-10" total by nightfall) and now IDK is shoveling round two without any whining so far. I'm going to be making hot chocolate here in a few minutes for them, and noshing on a coffee-infused chocolate bar for myself.

Yes, that is what I will do.

Had another Embodiment yesterday. This delayed seeing Bu by several hours, thanks to last minute phone calls, but he was very understanding about the situation, which I greatly appreciate.

I honestly don't remember how much I told "M" about Wolf from the previous Embodiment several months ago. All that being said, I did know she considers herself a medium and has previous experience working with trauma patients. (heard one story about an Iraq vet with serious PTSD) So when she asked me if I had felt Wolf since his death, I was honest about what I had and hadn't felt.

Guess who shows up. I can hear him in my head, almost see him sitting beside me and several messages were relayed. I talked directly to Wolf. M did the message relays.

It was harder for me to get into the Awareness, as M did a LOT of talking at the very beginning. She finally left and I could pay attention to the CD. I soon saw a standing stone in front of me, big and oblongish and the weathered grey like Stonehenge, but it wasn't a linteled doorway. It was one solid piece of rock. Rock that turned fluid when I touched it. It took some mental psyching up to walk through that, but I did. Wolf was on the other side, dressed as he was for our wedding, but with the robe tied closed. He looks SO GOOD with ivy and roses in his hair. We were standing on a whole bunch of nothing in a starlit sky. He gave me a big hug, said he was proud of me and yes, you really are one strong lady, don't ever doubt THAT. Then he slowly slid away from me, turned into a beautiful blue and white constellation, and disappeared into the sky.

I came back to myself and saw I was bleeding white energy from my back in a X pattern, with the center of the X being the middle of my spine. It was...pretty. Ethereal. And I felt...less burdened when it stopped.

I eventually fell asleep when M was working on my right side. Couldn't tell you what I dreamed, only that I woke up abruptly and had to work on returning to Awareness and wondering why the heck M was taking so long on the right side. She did move to the left, my right leg was boneless, yay.

My second vision was of a chibi me and a chibi Wolf, bouncing around like hyper children and I made myself grow fairy wings. Wolf wouldn't do it, he ended up fading away again and I got big and started sulking. Then I showed up, in white classical Greek clothes, and led the winged me to a large chamber filled with statues along the wall. The inspiration for this was directly out of Last Airbender, I admit it, but it was comforting to look around and see how many times Wolf and I did or didn't find each other. There were a lot of single statues, more me then him, but the one closest to the floor was of Wolf, me, and the kiddos. It looked weathered, the features were softened, but we were all smiling. I had a nice chat with myself and then hugged as I woke up again.

M said she could see a lot of energy being released through the pelvic region and I told her about the white streams. We had a good talk where I proved I am an Enlightened Soul, all things considered.

The kiddos had been watched by M's daughter and a friend. They had a blast jumping on a leaf-covered trampoline, playing pool and watching TV. Cuteness konked out pretty quickly after the trampoline, she had to be carried to the car and then into the house. She went right to bed. IDK informed me his right ear was acting up, turns out the ear tube is draining, which is good, but also means a lot of nasty gunk was coming out of said ear. So I used tissues and cotton balls to clean out the gunk, to IDK's howls of pain.

Bu showed up about 8:30, we had a lovely chat lasting several hours. After I went to bed, IDK came downstairs crying. First it was about his ear, which really did hurt, and then it was about Daddy and could he PLEASE sleep in my bed tonight? I agreed, informing him it couldn't become a habit. He came back with pillow and Steelers Frog. It took some convincing that aspirin would really help the ear, and more cotton. It wasn't draining much that late at night, but it was a convenient reason for getting Mommy's attention when what he was really upset about was Wolf.

So many times he resorts to tears when he's angry or frustrated over a chore or homework or being told his time's up on the computer/consoles. My first instinct is to get him to calm down so he can actually talk to me instead of the loud wails. Once he admitted to missing Wolf, I had to firmly tamp down on that instinct and just hold him. Neither one of us wants to cry more about this, but I can see now we have to, despite our instincts.

So starts another parental conversation betwixt myself and my Wolf regarding IDK, wherein it is revealed that Wolf has issues with homework, Queenie is the ONLY ONE in the family with any kind of study skills, and IDK really is a good kid after all, he just needs structure and if he chooses to do his homework and not turn it in, well, the teachers need to reflect that in his grades.

But, Queenie, why would Wolf call you a freak of nature? Other than the obvious?

Well, I was homeschooled from grades 5-8 and again for 11-12. And when I say "homeschooled", I mean "I was given the books and I taught myself because my mother was too busy focusing on my younger brother." Wolf is firmly of the opinion Maternal Unit made Eagle, not Bgers. I agree with him, as I watched HER fill out HIS application and was seriously offended. But that's neither here nor there. The point he was trying to make was that I actually took it upon myself to study and learn, rather than saying "Fuck it" and go looking for trouble, or simply NOT do anything about it and settle for a GED.

I have an associate's degree. The lowest of college degrees, I admit and I'm a trifle ashamed of that fact, but there's no denying the OTHER fact that I'm the only one of that foursome who actually HAS a college degree.

I am still trying to come to terms that IDK is a typical 10 year old boy. He doesn't care if he wears clean clothes or not, he'd happily skip out on chores to go play outside (and does on a regular basis, something I've been trying to curtail for WEEKS) and school isn't his end all and be all. I do NOT understand this. Even at 10 I knew how important school was and it was my life. I had to DO WELL or else I would be a DISAPPOINTMENT to my parents. That was a horrifying thought. I was well into my late teens before the idea of Not Doing the Right Thing became appealing.

(Since then I've been married twice, divorced once and came out of the broom closet, much to Maternal Unit's consternation. I don't do things by halves.)

I guess I'm trying to reassure myself that I'm not being too hard on my eldest son. Homework and keeping his room picked up is important and he needs to learn this. He's just not wired the same way I am and I have to adapt to him.

My IDK is 10 years old.

TEN!!!

Dear gods, where has the time gone?

He got two rounds of cupcakes, one for school and one from Mama A. He and Wolf have had a lot of fun playing Lego Indy 2 (purchased w/money sent from Maternal Unit, total DRAMA over all that and further proof that she and I BELONG half a continent apart). He also got two new sets of transformers from ex-MIL.

All in all, I'm glad I have him and The Cuteness.

She's turning 3 in two months. YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *flails*

So IDK came home yesterday afternoon with a sheet of paper stating he had been allowed to play with about a dozen or so instruments for the purposes of arranging a school band. He showed ability to play the following:

Alto Sax
Trumpet
Trombone
Violin
Viola
(There was one more but I can't think of it now)

Wolf was giddy and at the same time very hesitant. He loved being in band when he was in school, but being the big kid, he had the tuba pawned off on him when he was more interested in the sax. We currently have an alto sax sitting in its case. It needs standard maintainence, but it's a useable instrument.

IDK wants to play the violin. Second favorite was the trombone.

o_O

We had a semi-serious discussion in the kitchen while I cooked, Wolf sat in a chair and the Cuteness wailed her displeasure at being ignored. I eventually took the Cuteness up to her room for bad behavior. IDK agreed to practice and take this opportunity seriously. We agreed to rent a violin from the school for this year. If, by fifth grade, he's still interested and showing dedication, we'll buy him a violin.

Here's hoping he can actually get one. Wolf mentioned that while he was in band, girls gravitated to the strings and boys to the horns. He also said he couldn't stand the trumpet players, they were arrogant and loud. I remember reading a fanfiction that was based on the writer's band experience. Apparently, drummers are stupid and trombone players are sexual perverts.

We sign IDK up on Sept. 24.

As we're nearing the end of the school year, she prescribed a low dose stimulant. Yes, oddly enough, the way to fight ADHD chemically is with stimulants.

I was SO NOT happy when I heard this from Wolf, and called the doc's office asking to discuss this further. When I explained my hesitation for drugs at this stage, would it be possible to use behavior therapy instead, I was informed there's a waiting list in the Lourdes system for good therapists, but Catholic Charities has a licensed counselor and they take IDK's insurance.

As Wolf couldn't get the pills today anyway, I'm going to call CC tomorrow and see what can be arranged. Knowing I have options is helping my general frustration and disappointment.

I have this gut feeling that Wolf and I are going to have to adapt our parenting to accommodate IDK's...what do you call this? A neurological disorder? A "condition"? His brain simply does not work the same way ours do, so we have to re-wire ours for him. Hence my desire to find a good therapist, I need to know what I can do to help my son.

I also want a second opinion, as I don't trust the school psychiatrist at all.

Am I hoping the school is wrong? Yes, although it's a false hope. I've done some reading today and every medical site not devoted to drug hawking lists warning signs that match IDK's behaviors at the house and what has been reported at school. He cannot focus for any length of time, he'll run off for any little thing when he's supposed to be doing something else, he constantly tries to interrupt conversations, despite multiple reprimands, he can't sit still, he forgets or ignores directions. This has been going on for at least a year, as the previous school was suspecting the same thing around this time, but our home situation was so uncertain we couldn't commit to any programs there. He's had six months here, in a fairly stable home situation, despite Wolf losing his job, and these behaviors have not gone away. We've been able to mediate the "touching everything while shopping". That's about it. I gave him one job yesterday, pick up all the trash in his room. I was working on my own chores, so I wasn't supervising him. It took him several hours to bring one full bag down, all recyclable. I sent him up again and he brought a second bag down a few hours later, again mostly recyclable. When I checked on his room, I could see he had done some general picking up as well as the trash pickup, but I could also see stray papers and other bits and pieces of packaging. I let it go and asked him to help me downstairs. He wandered off upstairs again and had to be called back down. Once he did come down, he was helpful.

*sigh*

Fellow parents, any suggestions?

Now we've known for a while IDK has a learning disability, and the school is finally wising up to this fact. What kind of disability, we don't know and I've finished my part of the paperwork to proceed. We'll see how Vogonish the NY school system is.

Today there was a time word problem. How much time between two events, one ending at 11:45 am and one starting at 1 pm. IDK and Wolf had such a hard time with it they gave up and waited for me.

I had him solve it with a simple breakdown of time. He answered the question "75 minutes". No matter how much I prompted him, he would not say "1 hour & 15 minutes."

The child honestly does not get the concept of multiple ways to say the same thing. 75 minutes = 1.25 hours = 1 hour, 15 minutes. He doesn't get that. He can get to 75 minutes by adding. He can get to 120 minutes by adding. But 2 hours? No.

We've had the same problem with writing sentences for spelling assignments. He knows what he wants to say, but he's lousy with basic sentence structure. Verb tenses? No. I'm correcting him, not only with writing, but with speech. "You has." "No, you have."

This extends into solving problems. Word problems break his brain. Subtract this from this, sure. X gives Y Z, what's left? Blank look.

All my fellow parents, any suggestions?

Managed to avoid all the Prez biz, with the exception of watching the last two lines of the swearing-in on msnbc.com, thanks to a coworker with a laptop.

Then I get home, and we turn on the news in the hopes of hearing the entire Inauguration speech.

And I start sniffling at all the pictures of crying people flashing over and over and over again on the national news.

In totally unrelated news, IDK got some very cool presents, like more Transformers and a race-car toting truck and a personalized autographed picture of Jerome Bettis and Mr. Merryweather ('84 MVP)of the Steelers. Yeah, they both signed it. His aunt got it in a bar in Chicago. It's framed and everything. How cool is that?????

So! Saturday IDK had a skating party he was invited to. From the kid who had been bullying him since he started at MacArthur. I confirmed the bullying had stopped, for the most part, and agreed he could go. He was very excited to learn how to roller skate. I haven't skated in about 15 years, but I figured it would be a good mom-son bonding experience.

By the time he and I are on the rink, he's clinging to the wall and begging to go back. Me, being the "We're bonding, damnit!" mother that I am, insist we take a full circuit. I finally manage to peel him off the wall and get his feet moving. My legs are aching to just GO, but not with a 50 pound limpet clinging to my arm and tumbling every five feet. Thankfully, I did not fall, although there was a few moments in the black-light section on the far side where I had a weird experience where I wasn't sure which way was up. Finally remembered to look AHEAD, not DOWN at the flashing, funky lights and we got moving again. Right about here is where IDK gets the hang of it and announces "It's not so bad!"

We get back to the gate we started at to go eat and he announces he's done. I inform him I won't get skates for him again and he says fine.

So we stay off the rink for the rest of the party. There were video games scattered throughout, including right in the middle of the rink, so we gravitated between them and the snack area. I chatted with the host mother and one of her friends while letting IDK screw around with the games. I see him put his glasses back on at one point, find out later one of the skaters had tripped over him and responded with a slap. *sigh*

Laser tag went well, for his first time. He was 8 out of 11. Managed to score about 15 hits to being hit 51 times. By this time I've got a headache and am rather annoyed with the entire experience. Hip hop music I don't know, getting dizzy just watching the skaters and all those bloody flashing lights, plus being reminding of skating parties in high school, how I used to be ok at this sport, but never managed to learn the cross-over method for turns or skating backwards and really, there's no connection here with anyone. Wolf and Cuteness showed up, so we pack it in, thank everyone and head out the door. I meet Patrick's mother, a counselor at MacArthur, and try again to get some info on testing for dyslexia. It's my own fault for not following up and nagging these people. I guess I've never been fond of approaching teachers for assistance and still feel like I'm the child, not an adult and parent. I forgot to mention the slapping incident and decided to let it go for now.

We took IDK to Aunt Lou's house for his promised sleepover and braved the roads home. By then it was actually getting dicey, never mind it had been snowing for five hours straight.

I'm waiting for the call to come fetch IDK and really, really need to clean up my kitchen. My stove is disgusting.