She finally succumbed.

But it's not my vacation. Or rather, I've been on vacation for over a month now and no company sees fit to bring me back. >_< No, Wolf is on vacation this week. Little computer time for Queenie. I snitch the hour from alarm time to sheparding the kiddo off to school to check my comics and email, submit for jobs, and on occasion post an entry.

The weekend with Doc and Kyther left me pensive and thoughtful.

( Shrooms )

Now, Saturday was the command meeting of the ST club. We blew them off completely, not even bothering to call. An hour after the meeting was supposed to start, I was text messaged and responded that I was feeling ill. A snarky comment came back, I apologized. This dwelled on my mind.

Sunday Kyther came down. We watched a few episodes of Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi (I know that's spelled wrong), went out to lunch at Hibachi and saw "Serenity". I enjoyed the film overall, was only disappointed in one element and am curious to see how far Joss Wheadon can take this. Serenity looks good on the big screen. Very pretty.

After the movie, we made one quick stop at Target, then headed back to the Springs. Dropped off Doc with much thanks, stopped to get me something to eat at Taco Bell, and went to pick up the kiddo. Serious discussion about Fleet, the club and the captain on the way and while we headed home. The glamour is gone, the newness has worn off, in other words, we're bored. The captain has proven himself a Fleet ladder climber, which bothers Wolf deeply, I feel no connection with the other females of the club. There's no sense of family like with the Arc Royal. Yes, they're friends and they don't deserve to be blown off like that. That doesn't stop me from feeling somewhat justified, since our desires for the club aren't being met. Social breakoff was bound to happen, since despite the set backs we're still planning on heading back to New York. Did it need to happen now? Debatable. I feel that something important has been torn, a small rent in my social fabric and I'm wondering if the effort of stitching it up is worth the resulting mend. Is the cost less than the reward?

I doubt I'll do shrooms again. The only thing missing the first time was Wolf and that was satisfied. I have no interest in doing acid or anything else of this nature. My curiosity is satisfied and it didn't kill me. Whoot.

Currently waiting for the kiddo to get out of the shower so I can feed him and ship him off for school. Then it's to ADT to replace the app I totally screwed up on last night, then the library.

But the weekend? Heh.

Friday night we all decided "What the hell, Queenie and Wolf have the money!" and us + Skipper and Goldie agreed to hit Albuquerque and another ship's anniversary. Bear in mind the captain of this particular ship has bitched for years about how he always comes up to Denver and NOBODY comes down to Albe for his stuff. So this was basically an away mission to shut him up.

( It worked )

So, overall, the trip was productive. I found a corset I liked that fit me well for only $225 and Goldie let me keep a book of literary previews she had picked up for free. I now have two *hope they have* pick ups at the library besides my tea ceremony references. Wolf, Skipper and Albe all managed to sit down and talk, which was the whole point of going in the first place. Plus we got a free dinner and made it home with money to spare! Yay!

Tooth hurts. Bad. Damned infections. I have to EAT! Can't eat without making it worse. It's the lower right wisdom tooth, the one that's been slowly rotting away from a massive cavity cause Queenie can't afford insurance. This is the worst it's been. Hurt for over two days straight now. I'm salt-rinsing it at night. This brainstorm of an idea helped Wolf knock out a similar infection last year. Now it's my turn. *whimper*

I'm going to have to resort to pain pills soon.

In other news, Vegas is a tentative "Go". Tentative because the Skipper insists on doing events that cost money and it's going to take Queenie working serious overtime to make sure we have enough to actually PAY for the trip. Then there's the issue of the kiddo. Maternal unit won't take him for the whole weekend because *whiny* "I have schoooool and I can't leave him aloooooone." */whiny* Yeah, Mom. He's 5!! Send him out back to play with the dogs, show him how to use the VCR. He can change his own tapes, you know. However! If ex-grandma can take him Sat-Mon, maternal can do Fri. Whokay. I'll be asking this weekend. If ex-grandma says no, we take the money for Vegas and...hit a bed and breakfast somewhere. Or D&B. Or be really sensible and pay off the credit card.

Office is being re-arranged around me. I'll be taking pictures of this closet later on this week, so you can all sympathize and coo over me for working in such horrible conditions.

My IBKD has a feather in his wing. I found it yesterday on the street. It looks like a standard pigeon feather, except for the peach spine. I'm not kidding. It's peach! I've only seen white or dark spines. Oh, Janny? Yeah, about the money. I will get that in the mail this week, I swear. Have to find an appropriate card, y'know. I have the address safe in my mailbox.

Owwwwww!!!

Is Arucard capable of being a gentleman, or will he cheerfully abuse a prisoner, even if said prisoner is The One?

*takes motorized trains from kiddo for driving them off the top of the 3'+ bar* He's a good kid, really. But it seems like every week I end up taking some of his toys away for inappropriate treatment. And the grandmothers wonder why I don't let him play with the Power Ranger stuff. Gah!

Our savings plan hasn't fully kicked in yet. We have cut down on the eating out, somewhat, and are managing to keep a nice round figure in the account between paychecks. Did end up delaying two bills, which I really should pay tonight. *grumble*

Feeling mildy frustrated all around tonight. Not quite sure why. We got a lot accomplished today. Living room cleaned and vacuumed, carpet-headboard reversed, sheets, pillows AND mattress pad cleaned (still need to make bed), stove, half the counters cleaned and a load of dishes run. Kiddo picked up his room completely, good for him! Then we went out for pizza, 'cause the kiddo earned a free personal pan size from Pizza Hut for good reading in his school. We also picked up black berets for the Summit, (Wolf, Macball and me!) a new litter box for the nekos as the lid on the one we have broke over a month ago, two little ST ships for the Summit auction and 4, yes, 4 bags of SW M&Ms. Milk and dark chocolate, plain and peanut. I love the dark chocolate ones, so much better tasting the the regular milk. I hope they keep those in production after Episode 3. Nummy, nummy, nummy. Not to mention they come in cool metallic-ish colors! Hair cuts for Wolf and me resulted in...how to describe it. I look cute, bobs suit me. Wolf went military-esque. Not quite high and tight, not as long as a flat top. He also shaved off the fluffy beard and wiped out the mustache. His goatee is now Klingon. I think it suits him. We should have pictures in a week or two, I'll point everyone to the site.

There's currently a large box of trash sitting on our landing that needs to be dragged out to the dumpster. It's the new TV box, so you have some idea of how big it is. It has a 15" comp monitor, lots of cardboard, plastic newspaper bags and other schtuff that was just lying around we didn't need. We keep a LOT of boxes unnecessarily.

Summit meeting tomorrow. Things are proceeding as best as they can with this. Program is being worked on, the mixer theme misunderstanding has been cleared up (Skipper needs to learn how to explain himself) and there's still freaking out over the Green One wagging his venomous tongue over the event. I really don't care. It's just another piece of a political tangle I want no part of, but Skipper is dragging us into because HE's the RC and he LIKES to play these games. I know. I shouldn't let it get to me. I'm working very hard to forget all the nasty things Greenie said to my face about me and anyone bringing him up makes me want to throw up crosses or something. Y'know? I realize he's still a threat to the region, Tiburon and us personally. I choose not to give him power of acknowledgement. He's a leech, he feeds off of others because he's completely unable to take care of himself. Deny the parasite nourishment and eventually he'll wither up. Sad thing is, he has all of Fleet to feed on and he uses it. I don't want to protect Fleet or the region or even the Tiburon. It's not my task. So I deny him my power, my energy and sigh heavily when Skipper brings him up. I do need to keep my mouth shut though, otherwise I'll point out how much I don't care, which looks bad.

Then there's Front Mission 4, Wolf's new gaming obsession. It's turn-based mech strategy. A cool idea, poorly packaged. Graphics are more in line w/PS1, there's little voice acting (read, scroll, read, scroll...) and the cover looks like some kind of anime drama. Once you get past all that, the storyline is very interesting and the gameplay itself is in depth and rich. There's lots of customization options for all the mechs, which Wolf adores. As you progress, the battles become longer and more complicated. Strategy is key in this. It also means that getting to a good save point could take hours. He looked to me for permission tonight, which I gave because I wanted to take a nap. Now I'm fishing for something to do until he's done. I can't just sit and watch, I get bored too quickly.

Television is quickly becoming background noise for me. If I'm not interested in what's on, I get on the comp, or read. Which is its own frustration, as I've read every book in the house I care to multiple times. The library seems like a distant memory and I don't want to spend money on luxuries when we're trying so hard to save. So I putter around, getting more and more bored, which frustrates me. Then I consider getting back into cross stitch, which always makes Wolf bring up his ex-wife (a cross stitch queen, we have one of her pieces and it's beautiful). This is also a little frustrating, because I don't make comparisons between Wolf and my exhusband. There's nothing TO compare. Wolf's 110% better all the way around.

Hmm. This hasn't helped. Not good.

Well, maybe not. But there are schemes being hatched over here in Queenie-world. Hatched, slowly nurtured with discussion and even finalized with handshakes!

Wolf and I are agreed. If everything goes according to plan, we will be moving to New York. Back to the bosom of Wolf's family. It'll take us about a year or so to save up for it. Depending on what quotes the moving companies give us, we figure we need between 3 and 3.5K. That will get us out there plus money to live on until we find work. A place to stay shouldn't be an issue, his mom and his little sister have room.

In the meantime, we pay off what we owe to various peoples in and around the state, make a few critical purchases and figure out how to transport the nekos.

On the Fleet schtuff, we're finally paid for. The con, that is. And we intend to actually ENJOY ourselves by checking out what else is going on. Tenta-con after midnight, yay! Queenie can get her anime pron.

I also volunteered *smacks hands* to get supplies for the Friday night Mixer. Now the ex-co-chair wants to advertise for the bloody thing. Gods. I hope there's other room parties going on. I don't want to think about how much it'll cost to snack-feed 50 people, even with Sammy discounts.

That's all for now. East Coast friends, rejoice. The Queen will return. Hopefully. Everyone else, I'm sorry to leave you, but it's for the best for my family. You understand.

Love you all!

YES!

Stupid, I know, but given the emotional haywire I was yesterday...

( Read more... )

Wolf has to put in a half-day, then he and Muffin (hee!) are going to get a load of boxes over to the new apartment. I'll be joining them after work and we'll see how much we can get done tonight. I still have to do laundry, shouldn't be more then one batch, then it's pack up the room!

Can't say these last two months have been hell. Stressful, awkward and rage-inducing, yes, but not really hellish. I have gained some valuable insights and Wolf got his best friend back, sort-of. Heh.

Wolf asked me a question last night I'm still pondering. "What do you want from Tiburon?" "I want to write the story." That would be my project, my big contribution to this team. It's also all I feel qualified to do. Muffin's the captain who wants to do community service and grow Fleet. Wolf's the NCO-XO who wants to grow the Marines with D. C is the Artist. Seriously, she works in metal AND graphics with equal ease. She's going to be handling the website. And Queenie? Well, Queenie's really good at keeping schedules and maintaining records and arranging events. Useful skills, but not...impressive.

This is where my cusping really shows. I want to contribute and pitch in and get credit for my efforts, but at the same time I don't want to be out in front. I'm more comfortable two steps back and to the right. Indispensable Girl Friday who takes more pleasure in a smile and a "Thank You" then a plaque on the wall or extra pips on her collar. The Aries in me craves the attention, the Picses in me shakes her head.

"You're too introverted for recruitment." Cap'n informs me over the past weekend. Duh. I'm perfectly happy passing along information, but I'm not the kind of person who approaches strangers with ease. Not unless I need something from them.

It doesn't help that in my heart of hearts, I'm still witholding judgement on this whole going-back-to-Fleet. Starting a shuttle is fun and rewarding, but the politics have already tainted us and I'm so sick of the lies and accusations and blackballing. Wolf defines politics as "the science of large groups of people". I'm reminded of Tommy Lee Jones. "A person is smart. People are dumb, paranoid and scared." Something like that, anyway. Groups of people are only as smart as the most vocal member in the group and right now we've got a substance abusing liar in front of the digital microphone. He'll be gone in a month, one way or the other, but the damage has already been done. I don't know what it's going to take to repair it or how long. I don't even know how much I care, even with the lies being told directly about ME. I never was good at politics. I've lied before, almost always in self-defense. I'm sure I've repeated lies I've heard from someone else. I tend to trust people to tell me the truth because I know "truth" can be subjective. I've been burned by this before and I will be again, I'm sure. I don't read people well.

Eh, enough of this. Time to get to work.

Actually, you can blame Wolf for this one. In order to join Gumby-chan's Fleet chapter and avoid the idiots that populate CS (namely, the Cap'n and his crews, plus the ex hubby and his. Yeah.), you're supposed to fake your Fleet persona's death and go Section 31 Black Ops. Anyone who knows what I'm talking about gets a cookie. So, Wolf came up with our "deaths", continuing the tradition of his story "In the Footsteps of Giants", a fanfiction that resembles real life more then anything else. This was written way back before Wolf and I hooked up, but were falling for each other. Those of you who remember those fun, dark days may sit and laugh at me. I don't mind. The feelings bled into the story and everyone BUT Wolf and I saw it. *blush*

Anyway, Wolf told me what he had in mind. He's going to write up the official version, I'm going to do my perspective in here. First, the ( background )

And now, the ( story )

Y'all can use your imaginations for the rest of this. The next scene will be the engagement of the Bismark.