She finally succumbed.

The visit went surprisingly well. How much of it was because it's been, well, three years, how much of it was all of us not wanting any unpleasantness and how much of it was two days is Just Right, I don't know. Probably some obscure mixture of all three.

Mom (Yes, I'll use that term for this entry) seemed dead set on spoiling, well, all of us. She paid for her first lunch, bought The Cuteness and I several articles of clothing, bought IDK and I shoes and boots, and went nuts in the Rose Garden curio shop. Wolf was not included in the general spoiling, but that was probably because he stayed home while I did all the driving. Yes, me driving Mom around was kinda weird, but she really was proud of my mobility. *fistpump*

Wednesday was a late start, for obvious reasons. I took the kiddos to pick her up. We had to get her a new suitcase, as the one she brought was losing structural integrity along the zipper. One buzz up to Kohl's, and we walk out with a snifty purple suitcase for her, three spring outfits for Cuteness, three tops for me (including one with a brown and gold scarf that turned my basic blue jeans into something snazzy) and two more pairs of pants for her. Boots for IDK were not available, so we decided to look elsewhere later.

After lunch at Friendly's (clam chowder a BIG hit), we went home and visited until Mass, then we went to dinner. I can NOT remember the name of the Italian place, it's on the East side of Binghamton, starts with a C, and is pricer then we normally frequent (read 15-30/plate). Lots of pretty religious art, a slightly pushy waitress, and really, REALLY good food. Mom and I had scallops and I got chatty on my one glass of wine. *sigh* Wolf drove home after dropping Mom and IDK off at the hotel. IDK was required to get homework done that night, which he did with minimum fuss.

Thursday was a slightly earlier start. We visited for a while, then Mom and I took off for some girl time alone. The Rose Garden was another big hit. We sat at the window table, had a lovely chat, and I actually got to pay for the meal. After lunch, we went to the antique and curio shop next door. $85 dollars later, we walk out with a fat English 6 cup teapot, three mismatched tea cups and saucers, a really pretty rose teaset-for-two that Cuteness and I will use when she's old enough for bone china, and a book on indoor plants that's 5 years older than me. Mom and I picked out a cup for each of us to have tea while chatting on Skype, and one for Mom to use when she comes back. I actually found a Limogne tea cup and saucer, but it simply wasn't as pretty to me as the one I ended up getting. Plus it was damaged.

After dinner at the Plaza (which Mama A came for as well and insisted on paying), where Mom was introduced to the true nature of a 3" tall carrot cake, Mom, IDK and I went shopping for boots, as IDK has managed to tear out the toe on one. I do NOT know how that boy burns through shoes and boots so bloody quickly.

Payless didn't have boys boots either. I had admitted to owning a grand total of three pairs of shoes and boots, with no idea of where my three pairs of black heels went. Mom then insisted on rectifying this horrible situation, so we go check the women's section. There were a pair of plain black Thinsulate boots in my size and I had a Brilliant Idea.

"IDK! Come try these on!" I call. Sure enough, my son and I have the same size foot. *facepalm* We got him the boots, here's hoping they actually last the rest of the winter. Mom was firmly of the opinion I needed another pair of work shoes, after much debate, we found a nice pair of Mary Janes that support my feet. I now have summer work shoes. Whoot. We also found a pair of peep toe heels with a snazzy knot. Wish I had had them last weekend, even if it did mean sitting next to the door changing shoes for my traffic control duty. Oh well.

Another quick trip to Wallys, as Mom needed a new toothbrush, and we got socks for IDK and trouser socks for me to wear with my new Mary Janes. Then back home until bedtime for the kiddos. I drove Mom to the hotel, where I collected the slightly damaged suitcase for storage purposes in IDK's room, and we said goodbye. Mom cried all over my shoulder. Strangely, I did not feel guilty for not crying myself. I'm sure the desk clerk enjoyed the scene.

Wolf took her to the airport Friday while I went to work and some expressed surprise that I bothered to come in. I'm glad I did, as I was able to catch up with everything. The Boss called me Wednesday freaking out over my not being there and I did have to do some remote rescheduling, but it wasn't bad.

I intend to keep the house as close to the cleanliness I achieved before Mom's visit to the best of my ability. I realize it will only be me, as Wolf is lazy and the kiddos have to be prompted for every little chore. I also know I am lazy too, so we will see. If I can do it for a month, then it should be easier to keep going.

In completely unrelated news, the first gaming round with Bu, K and Zim went really well. Tech bugs were almost nonexistent and while the action had some lag, I think that was more a case of all of us trying to figure out who was what on the map. I'm going to see if I can find some figurines for Bu to use, so we won't have to rely on tacks and dice. Every other week sounds like a good plan. We survived our first encounter, even if the weapon users sucked and the one magic user kicked kobold butt. I am a Rogue...and snarky. Very snarky. This may or may not get me in trouble with the Wizard. The Dragonborn will be much fun.

Or is it speculation on a paradigm shift?

Wolf and I are in agreement that we don't want a McMansion. We're also in agreement that we're not really sure we want a big, huge house. There are advantages, like taking individual rooms to convert into our various hearts' desires and having a place for Zahde to move into so she doesn't have to worry about rent and other such bills, as long as she's willing to watch the kiddos once in a while. And we both have separate properties we lust after. But that feels more like lusting after a movie star. Forever out of reach, but fun to dream about.

Our current house is perfectly satisfactory. We're not going to have more children, especially after what was discovered during the C-section. Monies coming in from the Paradigm Shift would be put to better use in retirement and college funds, although Wolf has informed me he simply MUST have a Mako Corvette. *chuckle*

Stil...

I bought two bottles of Goose Watch wine tonight, after having the idea of greeting my mother with a glass of something nice and calming so she can relax after her flight. I called and confirmed we are related by wine taste, we prefer sweet reds. I ended up with Rose of Isabella, a wonderful white Zinfandel and Diamond, Goose Watch's signature white, as Wolf prefers drier wines.

Would I have thought of such a gesture if I hadn't spent three hours Saturday night toeing the line of the millionaire class? I honestly don't know.

I know I want her to be proud of me, which is, well, strange, I guess. She was proud of me as a child, her model student, until we started homeschooling and I was told to teach myself. She was proud of me having IDK, even though we continue to butt heads about parenting techniques. She was proud of me getting my college degree. IS she still proud of me, her Pagan daughter who moved halfway across the country for the betterment of her own children? Who bought a house several years after her brother? Who's had to work multiple jobs instead of getting into a union?

Maybe I'm expecting too much.

Specifically, those you really don't get along with.

My mother is coming out next month for a 2 day/3 night visit. In the middle of the week. This does not bother me, as I understand the suckiness of bending to the airline's whims. I'll be informing my boss of this at the end of the month, and I will arrange for IDK to miss two days of school. He will be expected to do homework on those two days, though.

It was when she informed me she MUST have her own room and bed, as she's such a light sleeper, that I started getting a little perturbed. Whokay then. Well, IDK can NOT sleep on the couch, the adults are going to be up later then him. There's also no curtains in his room, and he sleeps on a mattress on the floor, as the bunk bed bought in CO was about 6 inches too high (when informed of this Mother asked why we didn't just chop the legs off. Off a METAL bunk bed. >_<) He COULD be put in The Cuteness' room on an air mattress for three nights.

Wolf, knowing my general distrust and dislike of my mother, suggested we put her up in a hotel instead.

One problem with this. I was also informed that she MUST go to church on Wednesday, as it's Ash Wednesday. Now, there's a church within walking distance of the house, she knows WE won't go with her and I'm not so keen on IDK going either, considering he has no context. I also don't know what time Mass is, but the thought of getting up at 6 in the morning to get her to a 7 am Mass puts my teeth on edge.

So, is the aggravation of having to pickup and dropoff twice a day less aggravating then having her here, sleeping on IDK's floor mattress?

I honestly don't know.

I do know one thing, though. If we're paying for the hotel, I'm not taking her out to eat. Which is probably for the best, as she went sort-of vegetarian on me, thus knocking any idea of introducing her to speedies right out the window. She probably won't want anything to do with The Plaza's Ultimate Desserts either, or Sakura's, the best sushi place in town. At least I can make her perogies.

Now all we have to do is avoid talking about religion, politics, and her bitch sisters, whom I would dearly love to send black envelopes to. And if anyone gets THAT reference, I'll hug you, as I'm out of cookies.

No, he's not dead. If he was I wouldn't be online right now. I'd be in the Springs.

Nope, Bgers wiped out on a hill doing 10-15 mph. Hadn't had the bike a MONTH.

Diagnosis: Seperated shoulder. Sling for three weeks and lots of ibuprofin.

He's upset that he didn't get the Happy Pills. ^_^

I'm just glad I called Dad and found out, and that Bgers called me himself a few hours later.

Cause, you know, NOBODY called me when Mom was HEMORRAGING for hours at the hospital. I found out about a week afterward.

Yeah.

( Queenie Angsts about Family )

Wolf brought up an interesting point on Sunday. "All relationships, be they human, material or spiritual, work in stages. Your relationship with clothes has been ignored for a good 8 years, so it's not surprising that occasionally adolescent looks creep into your window-shopping."

It's the same way with my folks. We had that break when I was 20 and married the ex. I was being treated as a teenager back then and when I moved in at 22 and a mom, I was still treated as a teenager. Another break when I hooked up and married Wolf, when I was only calling them when I felt lonely or needed something, a very 18-22 college student behavior. Now, it's closer to adult friendliness, but the distance is still there, or at least I think it is. I don't really 'fit in'. We don't talk religion, for obvious reasons. We do talk work and life in Denver and the kiddo. But the closeness I remember as a kid is gone.

Or maybe that's just me being nostalgic. I'm not really sure.

EDIT: In other news, if I can avoid another dream about giant squid have their carnal way with helpless mermaids (with and without tails), I might get some sleep tonight.

Waiting for the call, feeling bored and listening to "Weekend Edition" on NPR. Sooooo depressing. But. B*U*T! You hear stories on NPR that you won't on the network or 24 hour cable news stations. Like how, oh, FEMA ground troops were asking for staff and supply buildup the Friday before Katrina hit, and on Sunday the office they worked at only had 12 people there when the guy who made the request was expecting three times that many. Ahh beaurocracy. Fun stuff.

Gonna miss the club RPG character make meeting today. A little disappointed, but prior commitments and all. Wolf is so completely not interested, I'm wondering if I should even bother. Someone would have to come get me for the game times and, well, I don't expect anyone to do that. Except that our new cat-girl DOES live across the street and down a block from us, mebbe she'd be willing. I"m on the way. We'll see. I'll ask.

Had to call maternal unit and shoot down her seeing the kiddo tomorrow because Wolf doesn't want to drive down. Heh. I am amused and slightly disappointed, mostly because I know how much she's going to WHINE about this. At least I didn't tell her the ex grandma got the kiddo last weekend. *evil kitty face*

"Well, I think it's my TURN!" *twitch* He's not a toy!

Yeah, sore spot with me. I've been going through this since the divorce and it hasn't gotten any better after the move to Denver. If anything, it's gotten WORSE because I don't call her 24 hours in advance asking for babysitting while I do job interviews and even then sometimes she said "No". I'm always willing to feed them if they come up and serve my good tea to boot. Maybe that'll console them.

"Come up on Wednesday and I'll serve you a medium-high tea!"

Meh.

And in 24 hours we have:

Kforce called, no, we don't normally allow checks to be mailed out overnight because of the merger. However, I'll ask your rep and the branch manager and see what we can arrange. Oh, thank you!

Dish Network called, the 400 was an equipment fee. WTF? Your VENDOR has the equipment, you call them. No, customer, YOU call them. Fine.

Extra Satallite called, Yes, we have the equipment and what do you mean Dish is charging you equipment fees?!?! We will get that shipped back to them as soon as we can and we'll call you back. I'm so sorry. Me too.

Bank called, *ten minute detailed explanation of events from initial call to Dish in September to now*, Ok, we'll credit the full 549 back to your account. Please write out everything you just said and email it to us, then call us back to confirm we have your statement. I may start crying.

Situation discussed with Wolf. Well, the bank is doing a fairly good job of responding, but do we *really* want to continue with them? Frankly, no. I realize they can't cross-check every debit card transaction, but by the same token we've had more unhelpful people then helpful in this debacle. Wait until it's all squared away, then we should switch everything but the unsecured card to the new bank. Multiple banks is not a bad idea.

So.

The money's back, minus 90 for two transactions that went over plus the overdraft fees. That's only to be expected, we knew we were pushing it. We'll be taking a good portion of that out and transfering it to First today or tomorrow. I still have to fill out the paperwork from First to get me on the account and DD enabled. Do that soon. Then we need to get debit cards, cause this temporary check thing is driving me crazy.

We have food, enough to get us through the rest of this week. Plus now we can pay the rent, the phone and the daycare. Whoot! I can get my kiddo back Sunday! I did call Mom to explain the situation and ask if she could take him another week. She agreed, but then yelled at me about how she bought him gloves and socks and underwear and she's not doing it again and from now on we're responsible for clothing the kiddo. Ok, Thank You! WTF? He didn't NEED socks and underwear, everything we have fits. The missing glove I know nothing about. He had both when I dropped him off Sunday.

My mother's a trip.

We move Saturday!!!

I want to start this by saying, Janny, this is not against you in any way. I understand your disgust and frustration with women who cite culture for why they abuse themselves. I share the disgust and frustration, but on a much more personal level. This is my story.

When I was about 12, my mother found out her cholesterol was over 300 points, her blood pressure was near stroke level and she was overweight. Overnight, my family eating habits changed. Mom announced she wasn't going to waste time and effort cooking two meals, so everyone was going on her diet. Now, anyone with a grain of sense would think, "Why is she putting growing children on a low-fat, low cholesterol diet? Especially when her daughter is already undersized?" But no one questioned Mom. We all went on her new regimen. During this time period, I watched my mother obsess about her weight. There was one memorable event involving my father. We were in their room, looking through Mom's drawers for something. We found some pretty underwear and I casually asked why she never wore it (I was doing laundry). "She got too fat." My father said in a disgusted voice. *twitch*

Over the next few years, I developed a serious food phobia. Gaining weight became equated with unattractiveness and health problems. My appetite, never much to begin with, shrank even more. Once my mom noticed, she decided to play doctor and looked up my symptoms in a reference book. She then declared I was hypoglycemic and had low blood pressure. The low bp has since been confirmed, the former has not. The solution? "Take crackers with you everywhere." Now why would I want to carry crackers around when I don't want to gain weight? To keep from passing out. Never happened. The one time I came close to fainting, it was at home and my mother thought I was faking it. I had to trip over a cord while she was dragging me to the couch before she believed something was really wrong.

If I didn't eat, I was scolded. If I did eat, it didn't matter. My self esteem became linked to food as well. If I got upset about anything, I would lose my appetite. If I THOUGHT I ate too much, I would get cramps. This became a vicious cycle that carried into my first marriage. My ex was great at ignoring me, which hurt my feelings, which killed my appetite while at the same time drove me to make sure he was well-fed so maybe he would notice me. Sick, ni? This horrible mentality is why I was 85 lbs or less when I got pregnant.

There were money issues linked to this as well, especially during my first marriage. I often went hungry because we couldn't afford a lot of food, so I made sure the ex had enough.

Wolf and I have had long, painful talks about this. It is because of him I found the courage to look at my situation and admit I have an eating disorder. I now know why, how and when. I had to learn to give myself PERMISSION to be hungry and to then feed myself. I'm still working on ignoring the cramps and taking a few more bites. I can give in to cravings and have something decadent. It won't hurt me. It will help me look and feel better.

It took me 14 years to get here. Only the last three have been the most productive. I'm hovering around 100 pounds. I have a ways to go yet, but the rewards will be great when I do.

*yawn* Slow today. I like it. Makes it easier for me to keep up with the Keep. Hah! Of course, that means nothing if no one else is playing. Aphie's gone very Eville DM on us. This is fun, because my characters are f*cked up. *nods* One's dead, the other is borderline psycho. And we just had a third bite the mind-snap dust. Whoo hoo! Come on Barbie, let's go party...

Maternal called this morning. She wants the kiddo every Sat. night. Eh heh. Nice try. You can have twice a month, maybe. Told her I'd have to talk to Wolf. She can have him this Sat, if she wants. I do want him here next weekend so he can see all our visitors. Problem with my mom is that she not only spoils, she somehow manages to convince the kiddo he can pull stunts with us. We have to lay a smackdown on him for two days afterwards. (No, not physical. *glares* He gets sent to his room a lot.) Because of this and the general selective hearing, I am leery of giving her too much time with him. Oh, yes. They now must get a car seat. I'm not loaning out ours. They've needed to replace theirs for months now. When they have it, they can come get him. No, we're not delivering. We're not the bus service.

Yeah, I have mother issues. All stems from control quirks, with a little abandonment and low self-esteem thrown in for good measure. Gotta keep an eye on myself, make sure I don't fall into her trap.

Finished Evangelion last night. Turns out we only missed the last five minutes. -_- I think it's more of a mindfuck then Lain. Lain, while weird, was at its heart personal. You were dealing with one girl's search for self. Evangelion was putting the fate of the world in the hands of one kid with serious abandonment issues and you aren't really sure what happened except all the interesting characters died. Of course, neither of these can top FLCL for sheer bizarre factor. Reality versus ambiguity versus dreams. Whokay.

Now to go find something else to replace the clip music playing in my head.