Corkscrew: Obtained.

Not sure WHY there was one left in my desk at work, but it's home now.

Grieving: Check.
I have had a migraine since 3 pm. I went out and bought myself four bags of gummy candy because gummy is my comfort food. I intend to stuff myself with worms and watch something snarky yet educational once the children are in bed.

Gods, I hurt.