*Worf voice* She's adapted. */Worf voice*

One of the side benefits of all the clean up at work is I've been too busy to think too much. Until Tuesday, when I realized something while getting the house ready for the night.

I've adapted to life without Wolf.

I wouldn't say I've healed. The tattoo Ritual will be painful in more ways then one. The anniversary in a few weeks will also be painful.

But I CAN say that I go about my daily life no longer wishing for someone to come home to. My stuffed Wev Antilles does a pretty good job warming up my bed with his hot packs. (THANK YOU AGAIN CHEZZIE!!!) I'm ready for the rings to come off, but I will stick to my plan and wait until I have the tattoo.

My counselor asked me Wednesday why I stuck with the weekly visits. I looked at her and said "I had to."

Really. That's all there was to it. I knew I needed professional help to deal with my loss, so I found a professional who could and I got lucky first try. *shrug*

I'm glad I did.

I'm also very glad Bu and Zahde are coming down tonight with the promise of massage and Bailey's.