So yeah, about this Zoloft.

I continue to be surprised at how much lighter my mood is. I continue to be surprised as Wistfull surges ahead by leaps and bounds. I continue to be surprised that I'm feeling, well, sort of normal. It's startling to think about how LONG it's been since I've not had Indigo crowding my head. I was suicidal four months ago. A month ago I was actively self harming. Now, I'm still twisting rubber bands around my thumbs, but I'm not looking to actually bleed or make scars.

It's...weird.

I know this is right and good. I know this is the first step to where I'm SUPPOSED to be; mentally & emotionally healthy and stable, with a cheerful positive outlook and the ability to roll with the punches.

It's still weird.

I'm looking forward to spring and getting the roof fixed and maybe paint the living room. I'm looking forward to warmer days and to try yet again to get that Garden Goddess going. I'm looking forward going clothes shopping next month for my birthday, as I'm now clearly a size 8 and I need some new pants and possibly some skirts. I'm looking forward to seeing True Blue in the mirror again.

I am NOT looking forward to the two weddings I feel obligated to attend this year. Not. At. ALL. But I'll deal with that when the time comes.

I have Reiki tonight and possibly yoga. I'm looking forward to those.