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I like this counselor.
Jan. 21st, 2015 09:05 pmHer methods are similar to H's and she asked a few probing questions. We didn't have time to get her completely up to date, but we covered the big points; Maternal Unit, First Marriage, Wolf and the fact I've been struggling with depression since I was a teenager, it just wasn't OBVIOUS until after Wolf died. I told her about Indigo. I told her about the grief writing. I told her the most recent revelation, I'm not the Geek I thought I was.
She said I was "very interesting" and had "different points of view" and I'm "very insightful regarding myself" and still "quite strong". She also said my flight response to arguing is perfectly normal for a firstborn girl child growing up in an argumentative household. I blame a lot on Maternal Unit, but I'm always quick to clarify she has brain damage. Perhaps too easily and quickly. It's easier to look at a lot of Maternal Unit's behaviors and say "Oh, it's just the brain damage. She didn't MEAN to be a Ferangi and treat me like a delinquent teenager during and after my divorce. She didn't MEAN to instill a fear of getting fat to the point of a borderline eating disorder."
Well, she didn't. She did the best she could with a child she didn't understand. Much like I'm doing with my kids. I still think I'm the better Mom, but that's normal, right? Yes, I take credit for my own growing up, as embarrassing and stupid as I was in my early twenties, but she did have a large hand in it. She encouraged reading (as long as it was wholesome books, not trashy romance novels which I read on my breaks volunteering at the library to learn about sex, because god forbid I know where babies come from before the age of 13 {I was 8 or 9 when I found that book and read it in one sitting, it was VERY wholesome! It called sex "A special kind of love" and had pictures of animals snuggling! The trashy romance novels came when I was 12-13.}, or science fiction because OBVIOUSLY science fiction or fantasy had to be evil because it had dragons and magic. She once yelled at me for having a copy of "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" in my library stack because she thought it was an Anne McCaffery Dragonrider novel. Dad backed me up on the sci-fi, yet another reason he's cooler.)
Sometimes I think my mother was one of those who preferred their children to be under the age of ten for their entire lives. Ew! I'm looking forward to IDK moving out into the Big Wide World, even as I worry.
In semi-related news, I spent the evening crocheting in the recliner. I did not break down and start bawling. There were one or two surges of sadness, and I swear I heard Wolf say "You're using my chair!" in a surprised tone of voice. I informed him it was no longer his chair and he didn't argue.
So, progress?
She said I was "very interesting" and had "different points of view" and I'm "very insightful regarding myself" and still "quite strong". She also said my flight response to arguing is perfectly normal for a firstborn girl child growing up in an argumentative household. I blame a lot on Maternal Unit, but I'm always quick to clarify she has brain damage. Perhaps too easily and quickly. It's easier to look at a lot of Maternal Unit's behaviors and say "Oh, it's just the brain damage. She didn't MEAN to be a Ferangi and treat me like a delinquent teenager during and after my divorce. She didn't MEAN to instill a fear of getting fat to the point of a borderline eating disorder."
Well, she didn't. She did the best she could with a child she didn't understand. Much like I'm doing with my kids. I still think I'm the better Mom, but that's normal, right? Yes, I take credit for my own growing up, as embarrassing and stupid as I was in my early twenties, but she did have a large hand in it. She encouraged reading (as long as it was wholesome books, not trashy romance novels which I read on my breaks volunteering at the library to learn about sex, because god forbid I know where babies come from before the age of 13 {I was 8 or 9 when I found that book and read it in one sitting, it was VERY wholesome! It called sex "A special kind of love" and had pictures of animals snuggling! The trashy romance novels came when I was 12-13.}, or science fiction because OBVIOUSLY science fiction or fantasy had to be evil because it had dragons and magic. She once yelled at me for having a copy of "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" in my library stack because she thought it was an Anne McCaffery Dragonrider novel. Dad backed me up on the sci-fi, yet another reason he's cooler.)
Sometimes I think my mother was one of those who preferred their children to be under the age of ten for their entire lives. Ew! I'm looking forward to IDK moving out into the Big Wide World, even as I worry.
In semi-related news, I spent the evening crocheting in the recliner. I did not break down and start bawling. There were one or two surges of sadness, and I swear I heard Wolf say "You're using my chair!" in a surprised tone of voice. I informed him it was no longer his chair and he didn't argue.
So, progress?
