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bloodsong1Went back to Simple Abundance, my little road map that I've used since Wolf died as self-therapy to find Joy again. SLB asked me how many times I've read it.
"Cover to cover? Twice." I said. I then explained to him the Five Principles; Gratitude, Simplicity, Order, Harmony & Beauty which together beget Joy. I explained the material, the spiritual and how it all goes together. I explained creative excursions, which I have termed "Playtime." I also informed him that yes, this was written by a stay at home mother with a lot of time and some disposable income. He agreed the general theory was sound and was proud of himself for figuring it all out himself without the book.
"Good for you," I said. "I found this a few months after Wolf died, when I really needed a road map because I was so lost. I've kept what I agreed with, ignored what I didn't and I go back to it to see what else I can use to get out of this Indigo. It's been a long time since I've felt Joy. I don't know what's going to happen during this process, so be patient and there may be changes."
"I will be patient and I will support you, as long as you're not mad at me."
"I'm not mad at you. I'm Depressed. Go play cards."
He left to play MtG, IDK has one of his school friends over for a sleepover, they're playing Call of Duty on our PS4 downstairs. Cuteness is watching Play Doh videos on my desktop and I'm in here, trying to settle the emotions that were surging in my chest earlier reading about being grateful for what I have and taking quiet time for myself and write a gratitude journal and ask for a day's grace and oh gods, it's surging again. It's nearly a physical ache and pressure in my chest, a flow of energy pushing SO HARD against my sternum it brings tears to my eyes. I'll have to ask T for another Reiki session.
I'm going to play a new game I found and listen to KUEC.
"Cover to cover? Twice." I said. I then explained to him the Five Principles; Gratitude, Simplicity, Order, Harmony & Beauty which together beget Joy. I explained the material, the spiritual and how it all goes together. I explained creative excursions, which I have termed "Playtime." I also informed him that yes, this was written by a stay at home mother with a lot of time and some disposable income. He agreed the general theory was sound and was proud of himself for figuring it all out himself without the book.
"Good for you," I said. "I found this a few months after Wolf died, when I really needed a road map because I was so lost. I've kept what I agreed with, ignored what I didn't and I go back to it to see what else I can use to get out of this Indigo. It's been a long time since I've felt Joy. I don't know what's going to happen during this process, so be patient and there may be changes."
"I will be patient and I will support you, as long as you're not mad at me."
"I'm not mad at you. I'm Depressed. Go play cards."
He left to play MtG, IDK has one of his school friends over for a sleepover, they're playing Call of Duty on our PS4 downstairs. Cuteness is watching Play Doh videos on my desktop and I'm in here, trying to settle the emotions that were surging in my chest earlier reading about being grateful for what I have and taking quiet time for myself and write a gratitude journal and ask for a day's grace and oh gods, it's surging again. It's nearly a physical ache and pressure in my chest, a flow of energy pushing SO HARD against my sternum it brings tears to my eyes. I'll have to ask T for another Reiki session.
I'm going to play a new game I found and listen to KUEC.
