Simple Abundance Exercise

[bloodsong1]

Scene: Garden. Sarah is standing in front of a raggedy band of lilacs, pruning shears in hand. She keeps reaching for the same branch and pulling back. True Blue walks in, wearing a large brimmed straw hat and loose, flowing silk dress.

"What's wrong?"

They need to be pruned.

"So what's stopping you?"

The pain.

"Tell me." Sarah sighs and turns to face True Blue. Her muddy jeans and dust smeared T-shirt reflect the time spent working on her Secret Garden, but only two beds are cleared and weeded.

I've made yet another stupid association with death. My cross stitch. I enjoyed doing it, at least in small batches, and I really wanted to get that samurai done for Wolf. But then he died.

"And you sent the samurai to PA to be finished by a kind stranger."

Yes. I'm not sorry I did that, it was right. But now Ah Moneypenny is dragging that desire back out into the open and I'm scared. I'm scared that if I start another project, I'll be dooming whomever the project is for, be it myself with my flowered cottage or Looooo with the hummingbirds. It's STUPID!

"It's also part of the grieving process for you. You need to build new associations, happier ones. Wolf isn't gone, you know that."

Doesn't seem right for him to be hanging around when I've got another man in my bed.

"That's the mortal coil talking. Wolf is beyond sex and jealousy and all those mortal emotions. He exists in Perfect Love now, as you will when you pass, and everyone else you know and love."

Death is only the beginning. Yes, I know that in my head. My heart is another matter.

"It usually is. You should ask for another reiki session. Your heart chakra remains plugged up and your meditations aren't doing much."

Because I'm not meditating enough.

"That too." True Blue hugs Sarah and turns her around to face the lilac bush. "It will scream, for it also fears pain. But it cannot grow strong as it is." Sarah sighs heavily.

And neither will I. She cuts back a thick, woody branch. The lilac shivers and screams, sending pale purple florets into Sarah's hair. Sarah screams back and keeps going. The screams fade to whimpers from both of them.