bloodsong1: (Simple Abundance)
[personal profile] bloodsong1
I had a Realization yesterday. I realized I have been afraid of my power, as a woman and as a Witch, for most of my life. Let me tell you a story.

When I was in college, I went to the local New Age fair held every year in a haunted theater. Maternal Unit was HORRIFIED that I was exposing myself to "the Devil's Work" and prayed for me all day, along with some aunts. Allegedly. Anyway, there was a clothing vendor there, selling the usual tie dye/batik print/hand dyed/one size fits all dresses one usually finds at such things.

Now, I was already crawling into my then boyfriend (the Ex)'s back pocket because of the ghost. It was not a nice ghost and it GLARED AT ME. The Whole Time. So when I tried on a dress in my favorite colors (purple, green & blue), came out to check myself in the mirror, I got a helluva shock. I saw the future. I saw a strong, confident, wise woman who stared back at me and smiled slightly, knowingly, as if to say, "Yes, little one, this is where you'll be".

I could not get that dress off fast enough. I was TERRIFIED of the stranger in the mirror. I wasn't strong, confident or wise! I could never be THAT!

I was...19-20 when that happened. Now, at 36, I realize the vision in the mirror has come to pass. I am strong. I am gaining my confidence. I'm learning about wisdom and how to use it. Part of this stems directly from breaking up w/SLB. I put my foot down and said, "No. I cannot do this anymore. I need to be alone. I will not fulfill my True Blue self with you here." The rest of it is finally realizing, at 36, twice married, once divorced, once widowed & with two children, that I have this power, I've always had this power and it's about damned time I've used it. When it comes to office skills and gaming skills and such,I'm a quick study, but when it comes to me, yeah. I'm a little slow. Still. It's happening, I'm GLAD it's happening and I'm looking forward to the future. I might not get that Earthship done in the next five years, but I CAN get it done. Even while wearing marquis cut diamond earrings, which I have EARNED and will be buying for myself for my birthday.

Yes, Chezzie I know you have people who can get me diamond earrings, but can they get me marquis cut diamond studs roughly 1/2 carat total weight and near colorless?
This account has disabled anonymous posting.
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting

Profile

bloodsong1: (Default)
bloodsong1

February 2018

S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728   

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 14th, 2025 02:19 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios