The morning after
Aug. 22nd, 2004 09:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bloodsong1is not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I have a decent headache, but since the sound of this keyboard clicking isn't bothering me, I don't believe there's going to be a sound-sensitive issue. I'll take some pain pills and down a big glass of water in a few. I'm thirsty.
Everone else is still asleep, so I'm gonna...talk in here. It's not really a rant or a vent, just a "putting down on electrons" thing. Yeah.
Ok, to be fair, there's not much of a contest. Denver's far superior in public transport, job availability and traffic control. Yes, there's jams during rush hour, but there's not the stupid "Drive 35 mph on the interstate because it's raining on a SATURDAY afternoon" jams that we had to go around back in CS yesterday. Gumby-chan and I had a talk about us moving in. Ok, he talked, I voiced my concerns. *grin* That's how he is and I can respect that. He understood my worries about bringing a four year old into what has been a very "adult" house. Things have slowly been changing in the last six months and I can see and feel a difference. Smoke-free zones will be established for our kiddo and we have all the baby-sitting we need. Gumby WANTS us here. Really wants us here.
That assuged my next concern. I did the "mom and son in house of adults" before with Wolf and the Cap'n. I haven't told very many people about that, but basically it was me and the kiddo in a frat house. Yeah. Not a pretty sight, especially AFTER the big blowup between Wolf and Cap'n. Gumby put that nasty event into very concise terms for me. "You were the object being fought over. You weren't directly involved." *shrug* I've settled that part of my life within me.
The third thing was Starfleet. CS does NOT have the best reputation in that organization, mainly because of all the insane in-fighting and one-upmanship the various chapters seem to delight in. I looked at Fleet as a way to get together with friends over a common interest. I quickly learned after my divorce and the break with Cap'n and Wolf that they really weren't MY friends. They were the Cap'ns friends, who didn't like my exhusband much and tolerated me because the Cap'n wanted to date me. *shrug* I wrote off Fleet, then discovered I didn't care for Star Trek all that much. I liked DS9, but felt I had "outgrown" the fangirl-ness for Trek in general. Now, Gumby-chan is heavily involved in Fleet now, but he's working on cutting that down to a specific job so he doesn't have to deal with the pricks in CS. He would like us both to join Fleet again (30/year dues) so that we can share in the nation-wide network that is Fleet. The people, not the stupid local chapters. But, if we don't, he will respect that. I'm thinking about it and slowly warming up to the idea. We'd be part of a correspondence chapter that doesn't have monthly meetings where everyone goes and tries to grab power. We'd just travel around to various conventions and have fun. Plus, according to the rules, you have to fake your Fleet persona's death and become black ops to join this particular club. Suddenly, killing off Lorel sounds like a GOOD idea. I wouldn't mind symbolically severing those ties once and for all.
I've known for about a week now that the moving to Denver is a "when", not an "if". However, I'm not comfortable with the idea of squeezing an entire family into *looks around* a box-sized sewing room now just to move downstairs later. Waste of energy and there are things down in CS we still have to do. Get the landlord his 30 days notice that we're breaking the rent-to-own contract. Helping Nat find a roomie, since he's decided he's staying. Calling the courts and informing them of what's going on and seeing what we can do about getting full custody since the ex isnt' doing jack. Working out visitation with the ex-grandma, since I won't deprive his family based on his actions. Plus there's the moving itself. Gumby-chan's idea was to have us pay to tune up the van (they're STILL unemployed, poor things) and use it to make weekly trips of moving stuff up. It's cheaper, we can take our time, and it gets the kiddo used to everyone up here gradually.
Gumby-chan made a very good point to me last night. "Everyone in this house is here because we've all been burned and we know we can't make it on our own." Given the way this country's been sliding the past four years *eville grin*, I totally understand that. Look at us! We went into a rent-to-own agreement honestly believing we'd both find permanent work in CS back in April. 5 months later, I'm out of work and Wolf was hired on in Denver within a WEEK of looking.
I'm still a little concerned about the parties that will be held, but I know I won't be deprived of joining, which was my biggest concern. I didn't want to be the one standing on the sidelines with the kiddo in my arms, watching while everyone else had fun. That's happened to me SO many times and I HATE it. It was like being a mother automatically excluded me from all the things I dreamed about doing in high school. (Well, duh! Shut up.) I was ok with it when it was just me. I found a way to have "girl time" once every six weeks or so and that was all I could tolerate. Now, with a new circle of friends, it can be weekly or monthly, depending. Gumby-chan told me point blank I can speak whenever I wish and people will listen. Heck, they let me decide what we were having for dinner last night. I came up with chicken curry off the top of my head and we did! And it was delicious! Course, I'd never eat the hummus Gumby-chan made sober. heee.
I demonstrated to myself last night how much I really do trust Gumby-chan and Franny-chan. I NEVER let myself get like that before. I was always too afraid to. Didn't trust the company not to do something to me. Here, it was all happy giggles on the ladies' part and the men smiling while getting HIGH. Ok, Wolf got HIGH. Totally baked. I helped him to bed, then tidied up the hot tub clothes and got us both water. Managed to bend over without falling, which is good.
I'm not going to repeat this experience anytime soon, FYI. Only when the kiddo's away on an overnight with one or both of the grandmas. He's too full of energy for a hangover, however mild it is.
So, yeah. That about covers it. We'll start working the details...sometime. Hope everyone had a good weekend!
Everone else is still asleep, so I'm gonna...talk in here. It's not really a rant or a vent, just a "putting down on electrons" thing. Yeah.
Ok, to be fair, there's not much of a contest. Denver's far superior in public transport, job availability and traffic control. Yes, there's jams during rush hour, but there's not the stupid "Drive 35 mph on the interstate because it's raining on a SATURDAY afternoon" jams that we had to go around back in CS yesterday. Gumby-chan and I had a talk about us moving in. Ok, he talked, I voiced my concerns. *grin* That's how he is and I can respect that. He understood my worries about bringing a four year old into what has been a very "adult" house. Things have slowly been changing in the last six months and I can see and feel a difference. Smoke-free zones will be established for our kiddo and we have all the baby-sitting we need. Gumby WANTS us here. Really wants us here.
That assuged my next concern. I did the "mom and son in house of adults" before with Wolf and the Cap'n. I haven't told very many people about that, but basically it was me and the kiddo in a frat house. Yeah. Not a pretty sight, especially AFTER the big blowup between Wolf and Cap'n. Gumby put that nasty event into very concise terms for me. "You were the object being fought over. You weren't directly involved." *shrug* I've settled that part of my life within me.
The third thing was Starfleet. CS does NOT have the best reputation in that organization, mainly because of all the insane in-fighting and one-upmanship the various chapters seem to delight in. I looked at Fleet as a way to get together with friends over a common interest. I quickly learned after my divorce and the break with Cap'n and Wolf that they really weren't MY friends. They were the Cap'ns friends, who didn't like my exhusband much and tolerated me because the Cap'n wanted to date me. *shrug* I wrote off Fleet, then discovered I didn't care for Star Trek all that much. I liked DS9, but felt I had "outgrown" the fangirl-ness for Trek in general. Now, Gumby-chan is heavily involved in Fleet now, but he's working on cutting that down to a specific job so he doesn't have to deal with the pricks in CS. He would like us both to join Fleet again (30/year dues) so that we can share in the nation-wide network that is Fleet. The people, not the stupid local chapters. But, if we don't, he will respect that. I'm thinking about it and slowly warming up to the idea. We'd be part of a correspondence chapter that doesn't have monthly meetings where everyone goes and tries to grab power. We'd just travel around to various conventions and have fun. Plus, according to the rules, you have to fake your Fleet persona's death and become black ops to join this particular club. Suddenly, killing off Lorel sounds like a GOOD idea. I wouldn't mind symbolically severing those ties once and for all.
I've known for about a week now that the moving to Denver is a "when", not an "if". However, I'm not comfortable with the idea of squeezing an entire family into *looks around* a box-sized sewing room now just to move downstairs later. Waste of energy and there are things down in CS we still have to do. Get the landlord his 30 days notice that we're breaking the rent-to-own contract. Helping Nat find a roomie, since he's decided he's staying. Calling the courts and informing them of what's going on and seeing what we can do about getting full custody since the ex isnt' doing jack. Working out visitation with the ex-grandma, since I won't deprive his family based on his actions. Plus there's the moving itself. Gumby-chan's idea was to have us pay to tune up the van (they're STILL unemployed, poor things) and use it to make weekly trips of moving stuff up. It's cheaper, we can take our time, and it gets the kiddo used to everyone up here gradually.
Gumby-chan made a very good point to me last night. "Everyone in this house is here because we've all been burned and we know we can't make it on our own." Given the way this country's been sliding the past four years *eville grin*, I totally understand that. Look at us! We went into a rent-to-own agreement honestly believing we'd both find permanent work in CS back in April. 5 months later, I'm out of work and Wolf was hired on in Denver within a WEEK of looking.
I'm still a little concerned about the parties that will be held, but I know I won't be deprived of joining, which was my biggest concern. I didn't want to be the one standing on the sidelines with the kiddo in my arms, watching while everyone else had fun. That's happened to me SO many times and I HATE it. It was like being a mother automatically excluded me from all the things I dreamed about doing in high school. (Well, duh! Shut up.) I was ok with it when it was just me. I found a way to have "girl time" once every six weeks or so and that was all I could tolerate. Now, with a new circle of friends, it can be weekly or monthly, depending. Gumby-chan told me point blank I can speak whenever I wish and people will listen. Heck, they let me decide what we were having for dinner last night. I came up with chicken curry off the top of my head and we did! And it was delicious! Course, I'd never eat the hummus Gumby-chan made sober. heee.
I demonstrated to myself last night how much I really do trust Gumby-chan and Franny-chan. I NEVER let myself get like that before. I was always too afraid to. Didn't trust the company not to do something to me. Here, it was all happy giggles on the ladies' part and the men smiling while getting HIGH. Ok, Wolf got HIGH. Totally baked. I helped him to bed, then tidied up the hot tub clothes and got us both water. Managed to bend over without falling, which is good.
I'm not going to repeat this experience anytime soon, FYI. Only when the kiddo's away on an overnight with one or both of the grandmas. He's too full of energy for a hangover, however mild it is.
So, yeah. That about covers it. We'll start working the details...sometime. Hope everyone had a good weekend!
