You have completed task: The Talk w/the Teenage Boy

XP 20000!

And let me just say that my talk with IDK (Indestructokiddo) was head and shoulders above the talk my brother got that I was forced to be witness to because we were at Pizza Hut having dinner.

NO I'M NOT KIDDING.

Dad: Keep it zipped. Just keep it zipped.

Me: Sex is a wonderful thing when both people want it. However! You must, EVERY TIME, wear a condom. Do NOT trust the girl for protection. Be sensible. Be wise. Wear a condom. I would like you to wait until college, but if you find a really hot chick and you really want her, let me know and I will get you the condoms. Always wear one. Be the responsible boyfriend. Wear the condom. If you're too embarrassed to ask me for them, go to Planned Parenthood. They will give you handfuls. If I find out you had sex without a condom and something happens to either one of you, I'm taking your ears.

IDK: You'll cut my ears off?

Me: Maybe the lobes. I am VERY SERIOUS. Wear the condom. You WILL be financially responsible for your offspring. I showed you how expensive they are. Wear the condom.

See? I'm a MUCH cooler parent.