My brother is now a motorcycle statistic.
Aug. 8th, 2006 12:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bloodsong1No, he's not dead. If he was I wouldn't be online right now. I'd be in the Springs.
Nope, Bgers wiped out on a hill doing 10-15 mph. Hadn't had the bike a MONTH.
Diagnosis: Seperated shoulder. Sling for three weeks and lots of ibuprofin.
He's upset that he didn't get the Happy Pills. ^_^
I'm just glad I called Dad and found out, and that Bgers called me himself a few hours later.
Cause, you know, NOBODY called me when Mom was HEMORRAGING for hours at the hospital. I found out about a week afterward.
Yeah.
Looking back, I was pretty much the outcast of the family. Bgers was Mom's favorite, it was blatantly obvious. I gravitated more towards Dad, but Mom was the one always around. As the eldest, I was the one 'in charge' when we were both old enough to be left at home during the times both folks were working. Boy, Bgers and I got into a lot of fights. Never long or violent enough to cause visible damage, but punches and kicks were thrown until one of us got bruised and I called it off.
Yes, _I_ ended the fights, usually when I landed a blow.
As a witch, I try very hard to be self aware and introspective. It's how I grow as a person and as a practitioner. It's because of this that I'm gravitating more towards Shintoism. Funny thing about that. Had a long talk with Wolf about this on Sunday. I felt like I was betraying him and the Way by looking towards Shinto as a better path for me. I LIKE rituals, especially small daily ones. Wolf doesn't see a need for them, never has. He assured me that I'm betraying nothing, that in fact this is good for me and for him, since he felt he was holding me back. Now it's my turn to forge ahead and show him something new.
But getting back to introspection.
It hurts whenever I think about my family. I know I'm not what they hoped for, although I'm not sure WHAT they wanted from me. I had my own expectations for myself that I projected on them. I've realized that was all me, even as a kid. They were glad I was such a model student and overall 'good girl'. Nobody was happy I chose the ex for a husband and Mom seemed to take near-sadistic delight in rubbing it in my face when I filed for divorce and moved back in. Mom wanted me to marry someone like Jon, a sweet guy I knew in high school that half the students thought was gay. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised. There was no spark between us and Mom wanted me to marry him? I guess she just wanted me to be 'safe'. Instead I hook up with a verbal abuser with severe anger management issues. Then I get divorced, announce I'm a witch and hook up with Wolf, who threatened her son when he nearly sprained my wrist. All Wolf said was, "If you touch her again, I will make you understand why you don't do that to women."
Yeah.
I try very hard not to be bitter. It still hurts, even after all this time. Things have gone RIGHT since I announced my independence from the ex and my parents. Yeah, Wolf and I have had hard times, but who doesn't? I can look at myself and see how much I've matured as a person. I'm working on developing a better relationship with my parents. I call them every afternoon and chat with Dad. Still get along with him best.
Wolf brought up an interesting point on Sunday. "All relationships, be they human, material or spiritual, work in stages. Your relationship with clothes has been ignored for a good 8 years, so it's not surprising that occasionally adolescent looks creep into your window-shopping."
It's the same way with my folks. We had that break when I was 20 and married the ex. I was being treated as a teenager back then and when I moved in at 22 and a mom, I was still treated as a teenager. Another break when I hooked up and married Wolf, when I was only calling them when I felt lonely or needed something, a very 18-22 college student behavior. Now, it's closer to adult friendliness, but the distance is still there, or at least I think it is. I don't really 'fit in'. We don't talk religion, for obvious reasons. We do talk work and life in Denver and the kiddo. But the closeness I remember as a kid is gone.
Or maybe that's just me being nostalgic. I'm not really sure.
EDIT: In other news, if I can avoid another dream about giant squid have their carnal way with helpless mermaids (with and without tails), I might get some sleep tonight.
Nope, Bgers wiped out on a hill doing 10-15 mph. Hadn't had the bike a MONTH.
Diagnosis: Seperated shoulder. Sling for three weeks and lots of ibuprofin.
He's upset that he didn't get the Happy Pills. ^_^
I'm just glad I called Dad and found out, and that Bgers called me himself a few hours later.
Cause, you know, NOBODY called me when Mom was HEMORRAGING for hours at the hospital. I found out about a week afterward.
Yeah.
Looking back, I was pretty much the outcast of the family. Bgers was Mom's favorite, it was blatantly obvious. I gravitated more towards Dad, but Mom was the one always around. As the eldest, I was the one 'in charge' when we were both old enough to be left at home during the times both folks were working. Boy, Bgers and I got into a lot of fights. Never long or violent enough to cause visible damage, but punches and kicks were thrown until one of us got bruised and I called it off.
Yes, _I_ ended the fights, usually when I landed a blow.
As a witch, I try very hard to be self aware and introspective. It's how I grow as a person and as a practitioner. It's because of this that I'm gravitating more towards Shintoism. Funny thing about that. Had a long talk with Wolf about this on Sunday. I felt like I was betraying him and the Way by looking towards Shinto as a better path for me. I LIKE rituals, especially small daily ones. Wolf doesn't see a need for them, never has. He assured me that I'm betraying nothing, that in fact this is good for me and for him, since he felt he was holding me back. Now it's my turn to forge ahead and show him something new.
But getting back to introspection.
It hurts whenever I think about my family. I know I'm not what they hoped for, although I'm not sure WHAT they wanted from me. I had my own expectations for myself that I projected on them. I've realized that was all me, even as a kid. They were glad I was such a model student and overall 'good girl'. Nobody was happy I chose the ex for a husband and Mom seemed to take near-sadistic delight in rubbing it in my face when I filed for divorce and moved back in. Mom wanted me to marry someone like Jon, a sweet guy I knew in high school that half the students thought was gay. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised. There was no spark between us and Mom wanted me to marry him? I guess she just wanted me to be 'safe'. Instead I hook up with a verbal abuser with severe anger management issues. Then I get divorced, announce I'm a witch and hook up with Wolf, who threatened her son when he nearly sprained my wrist. All Wolf said was, "If you touch her again, I will make you understand why you don't do that to women."
Yeah.
I try very hard not to be bitter. It still hurts, even after all this time. Things have gone RIGHT since I announced my independence from the ex and my parents. Yeah, Wolf and I have had hard times, but who doesn't? I can look at myself and see how much I've matured as a person. I'm working on developing a better relationship with my parents. I call them every afternoon and chat with Dad. Still get along with him best.
Wolf brought up an interesting point on Sunday. "All relationships, be they human, material or spiritual, work in stages. Your relationship with clothes has been ignored for a good 8 years, so it's not surprising that occasionally adolescent looks creep into your window-shopping."
It's the same way with my folks. We had that break when I was 20 and married the ex. I was being treated as a teenager back then and when I moved in at 22 and a mom, I was still treated as a teenager. Another break when I hooked up and married Wolf, when I was only calling them when I felt lonely or needed something, a very 18-22 college student behavior. Now, it's closer to adult friendliness, but the distance is still there, or at least I think it is. I don't really 'fit in'. We don't talk religion, for obvious reasons. We do talk work and life in Denver and the kiddo. But the closeness I remember as a kid is gone.
Or maybe that's just me being nostalgic. I'm not really sure.
EDIT: In other news, if I can avoid another dream about giant squid have their carnal way with helpless mermaids (with and without tails), I might get some sleep tonight.
