And there are days

[bloodsong1]

when it is just good to be a Witch.

Stopped at Tom's, a local gift/coffee/whathaveyou boutique while SLB was buying dinner. I went in with an eye for "Something for my desk", as the gray cubicle encourages Indigo.

I wandered the store, thinking I would like a shiny sparkly something to put pens with pretty shades of ink into. I saw a lovely nude statue in bronzy material, but I work for a Catholic hospital, so, yeah. I eyed various mugs and cups, but nothing really leaped out.

Then I found the small collection of crystals, minerals and LOTS of mother of pearl shells. There was a display of about 12 various tumbled stones in little baskets. I doused the selection and came up with snowflake obsidian, red jasper, blue howlite (artificially dyed I found out later) and Analite (which is misidentified and I'm not sure what it really is.) I wanted to see and handle the stones, so I doused the cheaper of the polished shells and came home with one. On my way out, I found a beautiful mug with roses and butterflies in reds and pinks.

After the kiddos went to bed, I researched the magical properties of the stones. Except for the last one, which I'm having a hard time correctly identifying, here's what I have:

Snowflake Obsidian: Grounding, protection, draws out negativity to be viewed and processed, encourages release of negative emotions for healing.

Red Jasper: Security, stability, healing, encourages calm and insights for problems.

Howlite (dyed blue): Soothes anger, reduce tension, encourages patience and generous behavior

Mother of Pearl: Ocean, nurturing, mothering, encourages financial stability.

My instincts tell me the last one, dark green with two small chunks of red and smatterings of black, ties the rest together somehow. Anybody have ideas on what it might be?

These stones, much like the five runes Wolf left for me, are exactly what I need right now. My therapist will continue to discuss coping methods with me, like finding the positive and counting my blessings when I want to die (Gah, EVERYONE says this! Find something original! Something I actually WANT to do!) and doing mini-purges of emotions before triggering events to see if that takes the pressure off and allows for more enjoyment. (We'll see.)

Right now I feel surrounding my work with beauty and strength and nurturing elements will help me stabilize at work. If I'm stable at work without a lot of conscious, focused effort of will, maybe I won't be so tired when I get home and can encourage appropriate processing.

The hardest part about all of this is figuring out WHAT is appropriate processing. I'm still very, very angry at Wolf and at Death. How do I process this and move on? How do I accept and settle this emotion? Any suggestions?

Comments

[sheherazahde.livejournal.com]

Sorry the therapist was not as helpful as you had hoped she would be.

Dark green with red spots sounds like Bloodstone to me. Bloodstone looks like someone dripped blood on a pile of dark green moss.

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

Almost, but not quite. The red is too muddy on my little stone, but the overall color is pretty close.

[kenshardik]

When my father died, I wrote him a letter to get a lot off of my chest and out of my system.

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

I wrote Wolf a letter in his dream journal after I found it, which was over a year ago. Hmm.

[chezelliott.livejournal.com]

Your feelings have definitely changed over the last year. Write another one.
When are you coming down for the October gathering?

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

We're coming down Friday night and leaving Monday morning. Will be passing through Liberty roughly 7ish Friday and again roughly 10:30ish Monday. I'd rather not stop Friday only because RBD is saving our bunks for us.

I could stretch it to 11 by visiting Wolf's tree Monday...

[chezelliott.livejournal.com]

We will be near Liberty on Monday morning to drop Elliott off at the vet for boarding. We could meet at the Liberty diner for tea/breakfast if you're interested.

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a plan. I'll aim for 10:30 with kiddos!

[chezelliott.livejournal.com]

Hopefully, Craig's text got through to you about us being unable to meet up. I had planned to be in PA later in the afternoon, but Craig's mom expects us about two hours earlier than I had figured. Which means we have to leave earlier to get there. It was tough enough explaining to her that we wouldn't be there by nine a.m. - she was expecting to cancel her health care aide for the whole three days. She can't get dressed in the morning or ready for bed without assistance, and when we visit, that falls on me.

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

Not a problem. I will pick up your gift when I visit RBD for Samhein in two weeks.

Any Thursday looking good for you and dinner?

[chezelliott.livejournal.com]

Here's the thing about stones. They call you when they have something to give you, no matter what the books say.

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

I know, but it's fun to find out mystical properties.

[jannyblue.livejournal.com]

http://crystallogy.wordpress.com/a/anyolite/

Is it that one?

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

The color is closer, but the black turned out to be a lighting property. Under fluorescent, the stone is a lighter green strafed with clear crystals and the two pinkish-red bits.