Regarding Wistfull

[bloodsong1]

As I said before, this is now a Thing. A Thing that is demanding equal time and energy as Urban Fantasy and, frankly, winning. SLB finds it hard to believe that I'm investing so much time and energy into Wistfull when said time and energy would be better spent finishing Urban Fantasy.

...

SLB is NOT a creative spirit. He has no idea what it's like to have a plot bunny chewing on your synapses. He has never suffered Writer's Block. As such, I came to the rather painful realization today that talking to him about this is like talking to a nosy relative. There will be lots of advice and most of it useless if not downright patronizing or worse, insulting. I challenged him to NOT use his 28 years of living experience and try to put himself into someone else's shoes. He called that "unfair" because his living experience is all he has and to take that away is to put him at a disadvantage, especially since he loves giving advice and HATES taking it.

So.

I will soldier on, working on each as the Muse comes and goes, as it is with a lot of artistic types or so it seems, and work on accepting the fact that I am dating a man who's only creativity is making D&D characters that keep DYING.

So much to grok.

Also, thanks to everyone who's chimed in on Wistfull. I will continue to post what inspired bits I get in here, but the bulk of the writing has now moved offline. I will be happy to send out sections and such to anyone who's interested in giving me honest, fair critiques. The same applies to Urban Fantasy.

Comments

[page-of-swords.livejournal.com]

How about applied creative enterprises? Like engineering or building stuff? Cooking? Something?

One of the hardest things to learn sometimes is to keep my mouth shut since it's not in my area of expertise and generally my own experiences are not valid. There are a lot of things that I do have valid experience and an educated opinion on, even now somethings in my life that I have an "Expert" opinion on. I even get paid for them. However I also know that I don't have experience in everything and see of experts opinions, I even pay for them sometimes. Most importantly I've learned to listen. I probably saved myself 20-30 grand this month by listening to some experts about what NOT to do.

There are quite a few patients I go "You should talk to X" she has a lot more experience in this, as well as not having the gender and class bias that I have. My manager I think was surprised I handled a situation so well, but I said I leaned on my co-worker ALOT.

I also offer much less advice unless asked. There are some close friends who fall for every get-rich-quick scheme, free-energy, holistic cure, buy more guns and ammo type stuff. And those people because they are close friends I will step up and say something. It's also gotten me a few black eyes for the trouble.

What I keep not hearing here is respect for your choices, and your experiences. Your lived life experiences are valid and valuable too. This is one of the things I used to not do well in past relationships.

P.S. Ill be up at B&A's this weekend for thanksgiving and Saturday.

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

Well, that's mostly my fault. When things are going well overall I don't say much in here. He did defer to me last night regarding dinner. "How can I help?" "Keep the children out of the kitchen." I had to repeat myself twice, but that's still better then IDK, who needs 10+ repeats before he gets a job done. I see that as their ADHD manifesting.

SLB IS 6 years younger then me. He's still a kid in certain ways and hasn't learned to keep his mouth shut. I'm working on that.

[chezelliott.livejournal.com]

One of the things I've learned from riding herd at Barb's is that you need to assign SPECIFICS to people. Barb has a tendency to wring her hands, bemoaning how much stuff needs to be done, which doesn't accomplish anything. I've learned that stepping in and saying "You - go scrub the hot tub. You - take the trash out. You - sweep the floor" is much more effective than anything else.
Mowgli managed to make her hubbie become a chef by starting him out as a sous chef. He had no interest in helping cook dinner at all, and she eventually talked him into helping by focusing on his OCD - if she needed vegetables diced to a quarter-inch, she'd leave it to him and the veggies would be perfect. Now, he's actually cooking dinner and liking it.

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

Yes, specifics work very well with my guys and I use them. When I'm at Barb's it's "Give me one job." and that focuses her. I also tend to chase her out of the house when necessary.

SLB is a cook by profession. He works at Subway now, but he has worked at Cracker Barrel and a few other restaurants around town. He & IDK made cookies again tonight. They seem to have been a success.