Oh, I remember this.

[bloodsong1]

The heaviness, the catch in the throat, the urge to cry over any little thing.

I do believe I'm sliding back into Indigo.

I'm pretty sure this is related to the reduction in Zoloft. It's been about two weeks since I went on half strength and last week was cloudy and rainy and blah and I know I'm sensitive to weather.

*SIGH*

I want OFF this medication! I want to be stable so I won't have to pay insane rates for life insurance that gives my kiddos a certain measure of protection (house paid off and some living income to each) But I'm probably already blacklisted and won't get a good rate anyway.

The whole marry myself/dedicate myself idea is stewing in the background, waiting for me to cheer up so it can pounce again and fill my imagination with images of women in pretty floral dresses and happy cheers and a fabulous cake and a small pile of presents.

I'm seeing my counselor tomorrow. We shall see what she says. I'm using my coping methods and forcing smiles and being gentle with myself and nothing is helping.

argh.

Comments

[craig139.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[mowglikat]

I hope you're not judging yourself in some way for it. I hope this is strictly a financial choice, and not one where you find yourself emotionally or spiritually lacking something because of your biology.

Internally, are you good on this choice?