I'm not that strong.

[bloodsong1]

Not this month. Not with meltdowns over lost physical forms for school and dangerous ideas that were not and WILL NOT BE ACTED ON!!!!!

I'm going back on the Zoloft starting today. I'm disappointed in myself, but I know this path and I don't want to walk it again. I can see that damned hole. I am NOT falling into it.

I'm sorry, everyone. I want to be happy and I can't like this. Up past midnight on a work night because I'm afraid to go to bed. Crying for no good reason.

It will be better after the dawn.

Comments

[sheherazahde.livejournal.com]

No need to apologize. It is not your fault.
I'm still awake if you need to call.

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Zahde. Hopefully I can get more sleep tonight.

[kenshardik]

I don't consider it a failure to take an SSRI in order to feel OK - especially given the circumstances. I take mine everyday and they help me - for the most part. Having good people in my life helps, too. <3

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

Yes, it does. (^_^)

[mowglikat]

I'm not sure why you would consider it a failure. This is chemistry. This isn't "all in your head," it's physical, like a broken arm.

There is no failure in getting the help you need.

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

I keep hoping I'll be stable without it for life insurance reasons. Obviously I need to find a different life insurance policy.

[craig139.livejournal.com]

No need to apologize sweetheart. We are here for you. Call if you need/wish!
*hugs*

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

Thank you & love you.

[chezelliott.livejournal.com]

If you were a diabetic and tried as hard as you could to control your diabetes through diet and exercise but couldn't do so, would it be somehow a failure on your part to take insulin? Answer: No, it wouldn't. You are making the responsible choice.

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Chezzie. You always know just what to say.

You are a lot stronger than you think

[b1bl10v0re]

Strength and courage come in many forms. I believe that acknowledging you need help, along with reaching out for and accepting help in whatever form you need is actually a great show of strength. Especially in a society where it seems we are told not to be vulnerable and that we must do everything ourselves without any aid. I think you are awesome, strong and courageous and I am proud to know you. *HUGS* <3 <3

Re: You are a lot stronger than you think

[bloodsong1.livejournal.com]

AWWWW!! Thank you. Being called "strong" still triggers a double take from me, but I've learned the truth. Losing Wolf has made me that much stronger and while i still haven't quite forgiven The Raven, I am closer to accepting.