She finally succumbed.

So the kiddo developed another fever yesterday at school, plus his right eye was red all the way around. School calls me and says "He might have pinkeye, that's in the classroom. Come and get him."

BUH??

So I call Wolf, he takes ANOTHER day off and runs him over to the doctor.

"Well, he might have pinkeye, might not. Could just be irritation from rubbing, a topical infection because of the rubbing, and oh, by the way, he's got a helluva ear infection. Here's drops for the eyes and script for antibiotics. Go have fun."

$35 of a $70 bill later, we have drops.

No script.

See, the PA gave us a name brand drug. Baka. We can't afford $100 for drugs! But the ditzes at the pharmacy not only took 3 FRACKING HOURS to fill the script, but by the time we asked for the generic version, the doctor's office was closed and they won't change it without authorization.

*swears*

So now the kiddo's home, no fever, eyes are clear, but ears hurt. I gave him another dose of ibuprofin, works better on him, and am now debating if I should ship him off to the daycare so I can get some hours in at the office. 'Cause ear infections, while nasty, are NOT contageous. And since he's now six, he can have the big kids painkillers that last a good 6 hours. Besides, he doesn't HAVE school today and tomorrow, there's teacher conferences.

*kiddo comes in asking to go to the park*

Screw that. He's going to the daycare as soon as I can get his script.

It's not amusement, but my sense of irony is tickled.

It's not disappointment, because although it is a bit of a surprise, it wasn't unexpected.

It's not resignation, because the outcome is as it should be.

Rather, it's a motley mix of all three and I'm not sure if knowing this and accepting it is a sign of wisdom or arrogance on my part.

You see, after the kiddo opened the present we had told him FIVE TIMES he could not keep because of content AND we had bought him what he wanted at Target to make up for the fact, Wolf and I took all his toys away. Same thing happened last year, for a similar reason. He opened something we told him not to. The blatant defiance and deviousness is what he's being punished for.

I had to call the grandparents and explain the situation to them, then inform them that any presents he got this past weekend would be left at their houses until his birthday, which is less then a month away. Long time for a kiddo? Maybe. I know my sense of time was pretty skewed at that age. He wasn't being denied presents. Christmas wasn't cancelled. He could play with them until it was time to go. He has "grandparent" toys that must be left behind, the gifts would simply fall into that category temporarily.

My mother, while a little upset about it, agreed graciously. I'm guessing it's because she doesn't approve of Power Rangers either.

Ex-Mom-in-Law got on my case. On the phone and when I picked up my son. Asking me why and telling me how mean it was. I shrugged, looked her in the eye and told her it was my decision. Implied was she'd better go along with it, which she did, all the while expressing her discontent with looks and voice as she spoke to the kiddo. I did allow a write-on book to come home, simply for the educational value. The Thomas trains, Star Wars figures and a small red plane (which I suspect is another PR incarnation) were left. Naturally, the kiddo's face crumpled and he tried to cry. I told him gently but firmly to stop it. After all, he had been without toys for two days at our house and he should have learned the situation by now.

When the door shut behind us, I could almost HEAR the names and see the angry head shakes sent my way. Hence the feelings described above. One step forward, three steps back with these people. If Don hears about this, he'll chalk it up to me being a dirty little bitch, but he won't DO anything about it. After all, he still owes me about four years' worth of child support. If he can't be bothered to pay, then why should anyone believe that he actually cares?

*sigh* So far, so good. I expect that if things continue as they have been today, the kiddo will get his lightsaber back tonight. From there, every day with good manners and behavior will earn another toy or two.

Was it too harsh? Maybe. This Puck of mine has double the stubborness and quite a bit of his blood father's arrogant bad attitude. I will NOT let my son grow up to be an abuser. That's why I left Don in the first place. If harsh measures are needed now to prevent police intervention in the future, so mote it be.

With homemade sauce is good for the soul. Thanks Kyther!

So, other then Sherzi's tags wiping out my paycheck, which led to the incident with Sprint, my weekend went well.

Didn't hook up with Koi as had been discussed. Was very disappointed, but not surprised and got over it fairly quickly. Saturday was spent moving furniture around, listening to Wolf swear over speaker wire (re-wiring the stereo never works the first time) and playing FF6. Finally got the Esper thing working the way it's supposed to and may I say, it's da bomb. SO much nicer and easier this time! I renamed the characters again, just to gloat in the knowledge I have ticked off the rabid fanboys, even if they don't know it!

Sunday was spent hanging out with Kyther and watching "Firefly". Oh my gods! Anyone who likes science fiction, Joss Wheadon or both MUST rent or buy this series and watch it. Watch it! Before "Serenity" comes out! Or after, so you'll understand the film better! I've had snippets of the theme song running through my head all day.

"Take me out into the Black. Tell them I ain't coming back."
"I don't care, I'm still free. Now I've found Serenity. Burn the land, boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me." It's beautiful! *sniff* Must find that song. Or have Kyther send it to me. Hint hint.

Sunday evening was spent running around making sure everything was ready for the kiddo for kindergarten today, reminding him several times to make sure he gets on the right bus (eek!), reminding Wolf not to forget all his supplies and generally trying NOT to freak out in front of the kiddo. First day of school and I can't walk him to the bus or meet him or anything!!!! ARGH!!!

Of course, by now he's either on the daycare bus or already at the daycare having lunch. I haven't gotten a frantic call from anyone, so I'm presuming everything went fine. *sweatdrop* Doesn't feel right, my not being there to meet him when he gets home. My mom was always there, or my part-time babysitter. Except for that one time in second grade where my sitter did NOT meet me where she was supposed to, so I went home with a friend and called my mom two hours later asking if I could stay for dinner and she had already freaked out all over the place and _I_ was the one who had to take flowers over to the sitter's house and apologize. Never did understand why I was the one in trouble for that.

Anyhew! As much as I wish I could be the stay at home mom that takes the kiddo to the bus stop and meets him after school and all that, I know that that lifestyle would drive me crazy. I am the type of person who has to be working, at least part time, otherwise I feel like a drain on my family. This comes from having to bail out my parents financially more then once growing up, then turning around and marrying a deadbeat. Working from home is something I've considered, but the schooling required we can't afford. Grrrr.

Ok, have to get back to work now.

Kiddo is sick.

Ear infection.

Started Saturday afternoon.

Didn't go to school yesterday, Wolf stayed home with him.  Took him to school today and they sent him home by 1245.

Wolf now calling doctors, trying to get him in cheap.

It's times like these when I would happily pay 10% more in income tax for universal health care.  Seriously.  As it is, I'm going to have to buckle down and call Kaiser, see what they have available for a single male child.  We certainly can't afford insurance for all three of us, but we might be able to swing it for him.  All we need to do is give up Dave and Busters.  And eating out.  And maybe Fleet.

Hmmm.  I'm seeing some good in this.  "Sorry, Region 17.  We can't afford you anymore."  Hee!

Anyhew.

Must bump up Chrono Crusade.  It's getting wicked cool.  And trippy.  And what IS it with that Apostle girl?  Summoning the Virgin?  Did I see that correctly?

All alone at work.  Sneaking the email because I don't want to punch and prong folders, but that's all the work available to me now.  Everything else is caught up.  Coworker had to take her daughter to the doc too.  

I like Planned Parenthood.  They got me pills for almost half of what I was paying.  They're also close to the house and 25/visit.  I will go to them for all my girly parts questions and issues.  Yay!

I work with some real idiots. "Can you send someone downstairs to pick up the lunch leftovers, the caterers want their trays back."  Um, by myself up here, can't leave, don't know where my boss is.  Why don't  you just tell the caterers to move the food to the sixth floor kitchen?  Hmmm?  Course, it took me a few minutes to think of this, but STILL!!!  I asked a few Reg guys to go downstairs and help, have no idea how long it's going to take.  Heh heh heh.  While you're at it, boys, bring me some pie.

I was going to work on my little "Survival in Corporate-ville" essay, but I'm too upset over my son's condition to properly focus.  Hence the randomness.  Ah, randomness.  I invoke the Muse!

Oops.

I'm suddenly reminded of a book I once read called I, Trissy.  Strange little book.  Very pre-teen angsty.  Read like journal entries.  Still, banging your thoughts out on a typewriter isn't any different then doing it in a blog or keeping a paper diary/journal.  As long as your mother doesn't get ahold of it.  *rolls eyes*

Trying to kill time.  How does one kill Time?  Do you use a blade?  A rope?  Poison?  What about a solid slug?  Or even a gooey slug, the kind you find...

Chocolate pie just walked by.

Chocolate pie.

Chocolate pie.

Sandwiches.  

I'm hungry!

Can't leave my desk!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Please, someone have mercy on the cute little temp and bring her a sandwich and two pieces of pie!  She needs to gain weight!

Hope everyone had a fun and safe holiday season. Gods, that sounds so PC. Oh well.

Kiddo lost his toys the day after Christmas. His behavior spiraled down Sunday morning and stayed there. *sigh* There weren't even any apologies as we cleaned out his room, just a few "I love you, Mommy"s.

By Monday afternoon, he and Wolf were sick. Wolf got over his fever quickly, kiddo seemed to be getting better by Wednseday, then Thursday night found us at the Children's Hospital Urgent Care clinic. Diagnosis: Upper respitory infection tipping towards pneumonia. Pneumonia. *heavy sigh* We promptly put him on antibiotics and canceled our New Year's Eve plans.

Ironically enough, by Friday afternoon, we were seeing enough of an improvement in him to accept Grandma's offer of an overnight stay and go to the AR party after all. I think it's safe to say the fever has broken for good. His cough is much improved, his energy levels are working up towards normal, his eyes are clear and his behavior is also near normal. A vast improvement over Thursday night; where all he wanted to do was sit curled up with his head hanging down or lay down and sleep, his eyes were nearly demon-red bloodshot and his cough was horrible.

( The AR party...hmmm. )

The kiddo also suffered discharge from his left ear. Grandma thinks the eardrum ruptured, apparently his aunt was prone to those as a child. I'm very glad she had him and not my mother, she would have freaked OUT, rushed him to the hospital and dragged us into a bigger medical bill. It was a little nasty. I'm not sure the eardrum ruptured as much as the holes from the tubes haven't closed completely yet. *shrug* Either way, that's clearing up as well. Yay! We'll be investigating child med coverages tomorrow.

Oh yes, one more thing. We test drove a PT Cruiser yesterday. We've been investigating options on a better car for about two months now. The dealership will be calling us tomorrow morning to let us know if they can finance us. This would be a brand new 04 Cruiser. *boggle* I've NEVER qualified for a new car. If we get it, it means a much more comfortable ride, tons of cargo space, no more kiddo kicking my seat and a car that will help us purge the negative equity that we've carried on two cars now. We found out my credit rating has dropped while Wolf's has improved. *grumble* We know why mine's bad, but getting it fixed is going to take time. The repo from my first marriage is still showing a balance due when I paid my portion of it three years ago. Need to get that fixed. Other then that, we need to get something in my name only. Problem is, you can't get a good credit card with a score as low as mine. You get 20+ interest rates, huge fees and little credit available. Also need to pay off the med bills, those are in my name too. Heh. Yeah.

I"m still trying to get back into First Love. I want to finish it, just not sure how to get there. My original idea has lost its romantic lustre. If anyone has any suggestions for a romantic setting to declare "I love you", please let me know. Keep in mind; they're on a college campus, it's Halloween, and they're in Sailor Moon costumes. *eville grin*

ARGH! Missed Aphie last night. Really wanted to talk to her. Oh well. Wolf comes first and he needed me. He let his wolf out yesterday afternoon, in the privacy and safety of an unoccupied house. Only casualty, a cucumber salad that hadn't worked in the first place. He'll clean it up.

In a way, I envy him. I get that angry at times too, but I don't feel like I DESERVE to let my rage out. Wolf is AFRAID to unless he knows he's alone. As he put it, "My dear, when you display anger, someone is likely to say 'Have a care for your blood pressure'. When I display anger, people call the police. I am not allowed by society to get angry." Sadly true. Wolf's 5'10 and 350, built like a linebacker. Big chest and arms, short, big legs. He frightens people just by looking at them a certain way. 5'2", 95+ me...Yeah, I'm tiny. Who's going to care if a tiny woman starts screaming and throwing things? Maybe if they're in the line of fire. Still, you see my point.

I have seen wolfy Wolf. It did startle me, for about a second. Then I got angry too. Not for the display of anger, that I understood. I was furious because he did it in front of the kiddo and scared him. We slept apart that night. Haven't done it since. *grin*

No, I don't blame him for venting. It's healthy and there's no damage. I dealt 4 shoes of blackjack for him (the source of the frustration was the computer bj simulation) and he regained a little bit of faith in himself. We need another deck of cards so I can deal poker Saturday night too.

In happier news, the kiddo used the potty this morning with absolutely NO prompting on my part! *cheers, throws glitter* He just hopped up and went. I'm so proud!

I have "Ballroom Bash" stuck in my head. Argh.

There has been an interesting turn of events.

Last night, Wolf did not sleep. It would appear what we thought was food poisoning was, in fact, some kind of virulent stomach bug. He was up and down all night, waking me up more often then not. Needless to say, he didn't go to work. I left him tucked up in bed trying to sleep. My poor love.

The kiddo's still in the throes of allergies. The daycare cannot give medicine without a doctor's written notice. So, I have to dose him beforehand and hope he does ok until he gets home. *curses lack of health insurance*

Needless to say, things are not going as well as they could in Queenie's house. All we can do is tough it out. We still owe both hospitals in town money from the last trips to the ER and that was with insurance! *grumble*

Oh well. I'm going to go indulge myself in comics now. It's been rather busy this morning. The paperwork can wait for the lunch hour. Or afternoon.

We're supposed to hear back this afternoon. Good pay, good hours and he's very qualified.

I'm trying not to panic. It's a day job, so the kiddo will have to go into daycare. No, he's still not trained. Yes, I still think this is going to be a problem. Neither Wolf or I have been consistent with this issue and now we're gonna pay the price. *frets*

Talking it over with a coworker gave me an idea. We could ask the daycare with open slots that he be put in the three year old room so he can be helped with the training because he was born premature and is having problems. I've never, even when I was working with him, been able to get him to go more than once a day, or even once two days in a row. He just doesn't get it, so maybe if we couch it in developmental difficulty terms, a daycare would be more willing to help. *crosses fingers*

Wolf wouldn't start until Monday, so we have time. We have time. Calm down, Bloody.

Grrrrrrr.

As you know, my kiddo turned 4 last week. The catch is, he's not completely potty-trained yet. It has finally reached the point where I am upset enough about it to do something.

Now, I don't recommend this to parents or potential parents. This is my mistake and I am ashamed of it. I was lazy. I didn't really want to do it myself, I wanted my husband to help and he was working nights. So, while I was unemployed, I didn't commit the way I should have. There were two four month stretches I could've done something about this and I didn't. I was waiting for my son to show more interest or just do it himself, as my former pediatrician had informed me he would. (Said pediatrician committed suicide not five months after that visit. Oops.) While my son was still three, I figured I had time. Now he's four and suddenly -I'm- the one in a panic about this.

My hubby, bless his heart, is rightly annoyed with me for not taking this issue seriously before. Now the majority of the work is on him and that's not fair. I'm afraid we won't find a daycare when he starts working again (better success rate in group enviornment, but that was only three months last year), he thinks it won't be an issue.

I know I'm not a bad mom, but this casts doubts on me. I know the first child is always the hardest, but that doesn't assuge the guilt.

Great, now I'm crying at work.

Excuse me.